unconditional | e.d.

chapter 7

Sol

"Mom?" I say the dreaded word in disbelief. Why was she here? How was she here? I never thought she'd come back, and especially not today. She speaks up and I lose my train of thought.

"Oh, Marisol. You've grown so much. You look just like your father; you're so beautiful. I've missed you so much." She pulls me into a hug and I stiffen. She notices and backs up, taking a deep breath, "I'm sure you're curious as to why I'm here and why I waited so long, but I wanted to make up for lost time." She keeps the smile plastered on her face and my eyes widen. What the fuck? Is this real life?

"I want you to come with me, to California. We can be happy there, I have a room for you in my house. I have tons of rooms; you can pick whichever you want. I own my own business, and it's very successful. You can go to a good private school and have great opportunities in California. Please consider it." She let's out, her eyes pleading.

I take a second to look at her. She's wearing designer clothing, and the perfume she has on smells expensive. Her purse is Louis Vuitton. At least she's had a good life without me. She looks just like the photos in the album I have; with a few added on wrinkles that only show when she smiles. I look like her, and I hate it.

"Let me get this straight," I start, closing my eyes. "You want me to uproot my life for you, and move to California now? After all this time? Where have you been? Why didn't you come back for me before you built this huge life for yourself?" I use my hands to exaggerate how angry I am. "You expect me to haul my life out of Chicago to be with you because you have money? A-and opportunities?"

She stands there and just blinks at me, a hurt look set on her face. Yet, I feel no remorse. I feel only anger towards her, and I can't help but express it. I take a deep breath and continue, "Do you realize how selfish you are? You ruined my life! Before I even had one! What the fuck is wrong with y-" "Don't speak to me like that, I am your mother!" She yells in my face.

"You don't get to say that! You've never been there! You've never been a fucking mother to me! Go fuck yourself!" I feel the tears coming down my face and I let out a choked sob. I walk away from her and by now I see that Ivy and her mom have left the room.

"I'm sorry for leaving you when you were so young. I needed to get out of here. I thought you would've been better staying with your dad. But, I want to resolve this. I want to work through this with you. I love you." She rants, tearing streaming down her own face.

"How can you look at me and say that? I look at you, and I don't even feel anything towards you. I don't even know you!" My words and sharp and my voice is broken. "I have to
get out of here. I'm leaving. Tell Ivy and her mom I'll be back later. And don't follow me out." "Marisol, please-" She begs. "Don't fucking call me that." I look her in her eye, grabbing my coat and walking out.

I walk to the park, sobbing as I recount everything I just went through. I sit down on the park bench and put my head in my hands, screaming out of frustration and anger. I feel the rain start coming down lightly and I put my hood up.

My mother is back after 10 years and wants me to go and live with her across the country? To leave the entire life I have here. To leave Ethan. Ethan.

I cry harder thinking about Ethan. We were just starting a relationship, or whatever it was. He won't wanna be with me now that all these problems are back in my life. I pull out my phone and shoot him a text.

sol: meet me at the park

I send the text message and turn off my phone. I bring my legs to my chest and continue crying. The rain pours down harder now. This is so fucked.

I hear the familiar sound of Ethan's car pull up and the engine stops. He walks towards me, concern laced on his face. "Sol?" I stay silent.

He sits down next to me and we stay silent for what feels like forever; the only sound being the rain hitting the earth.

"My mom came back." I breathe out. He doesn't say anything back, but pulls me into a hug and holds me tight. I steady my breathing and try to stop crying, but to no avail as the tears continue to fall down my face.

"Come on, let's get you warm." He starts, standing up and taking my hand. We walk to his car and he lays a blanket down on the seat, quickly turning the car on and putting the heat on full blast.

The drive to Ethan's house was quiet, my sniffles seeming louder than ever. "You can stay at my house if you want. Unless you want to go back to Ivy's, if that's where you were." He says quietly.

I turn the heat off and look at him, "Can I just...stay at your place tonight? If it's not too much to ask. I'm sorry for putting this all on you." "Hey, don't say that. That's what boyfriends are for." He smiles at me and I return it, shaking my head.

We pull into the driveway and sit in an even deeper silence for a moment.

"What did your mom say?" Ethan tries quietly. I sigh, feeling the lump in my throat come back. "She, uh, she wanted me to go back to California with here. She has a nice house there and I'd have my own room. She wants to give me the life I never had." I put my head in my hands and sniffle.

"Are you going to go with her?" He asks. I turn my head and look at him. "I- I don't know. I hate her for leaving me when I was so little and never giving me a chance. Fucking leaving me here with my deadbeat dad. But at the same time, she's my mom and I think about what could have been if she had taken me with her the first time. It's obvious I shouldn't go, but there's that little piece of me that wants to."

He grabs my hand and rubs his thumb across it. "Whatever you decide, I support you." His warm smiles makes me feel guilty for wanting to leave him at all. I mean, not leave him, but it all feels the same.

"If I were to go, I would never come back. And I wouldn't want you spending so much money on plane or train rides there, so we would break up." I say bluntly, weighing my options out loud. He sighs and speaks again, "I get it. Just, take your time thinking about it. Don't worry about what other people want you to do. Do what feels right.

I take a deep breath and nod my head. "You're right. Can we go inside now? Watch a movie or something?" I smile and squeeze his hand. "Let's go." He laughs and jumps out of the car, me following.

I'll be doing a lot of thinking about this decision. And I won't be worrying about what everyone wants me to do. But I don't think I want to leave Ethan, or the moments I could potentially have with him in the months to come.