Arrived from nowhere

"I never told him, I love him ..."

           “The main thing is that you were there, that he smelled your scent, recognized your presence, that he heard your voice-”

       “I never told him, I loved him …” she confessed.

I try to comfort her, putting a hand on her back. “I'm sure you already have, Snips, it's your son at least once-”

         “No …” She finally turned to me, I saw tears in her blue eyes. “I'm their mom and I never told them, 'I love you !' ” She shrugged, looking away, “As well, he didn't even understand that I was his mother … Maybe he thinks it's Padmé or Satine-”

       “Of course, he knows,” I said, grabbing her hand, she shook her head in dismay with my words, “Your skin, your smell, your presence, your voice, it's all written in him and in Ashla, but-but forever.”

“What do you know about it ?”

         “Maybe nothing …” I said, honestly, “But I believe it, I'm sure he knows it, and so does Ashla. A child recognizes his mother.”

She didn't answer, not saying another word, seeming lost in thought, - “A mom, who isn't even able to take care of them properly ! A mom who wasn't even able to love them, who pushed them away ! Who did everything to get rid of them and handing them over to someone at the slightest opportunity !”- 

        A month ago, a few days after Caesar's disappearance, while she was in the garden, Padmé told me that she had almost surprised Ahsoka, burning something in the barbecue. After having stop it from burning, she had shown it to me, and after reading certain passages, I realize that it was a diary and for good reason, that of Ahsoka, consequently, I had decided to confront her about it, 

~~~~~~~                                          ~~~~~~~

     “What do we do with this notebook ?” Padmé asked me, leafing through the notebook.

     “I don't know, I admit I thought about it all night, but I don't have the answer.”

“Ahsoka wrote terrible things on it.”

     “No, but you shouldn't take it literally, my Angel. It's a private diary, it's used to relieve yourself of lots of things-”

“Caesar has disappeared.”

     “Do you think you need to remind me of that ?” I asked with a sigh, looking away, I refuse to believe that Ahsoka could have hurt her son.

     “She still wrote, several times that was what she wanted-” she said, her eyes riveted on the notebook,

     “But she never wrote that she wanted uh-she wanted to do something against him or against Ashla, that she never did !”

     “No, but she said motherhood wasn't her thing.” she argued, “That she couldn't love her son and daughter.”

“No, but that was at the beginning-”

     “No, not that at all, that was six days ago, June 20th,” she said, showing me the page, “Read, it's written on it, 'HE IS Screaming AGAIN !! I have the impression that he can do just that. I would give everything I have to make this stop. I CAN'T just drag a thing around ! That I never asked for ! ' ” She looked up at me, visibly shocked,