BANGERZ 2: WORST BEHAVIOR (2015)

25. Blood In, Blood Out

"I'm surprised he wasn't here," I remark.

"He was doing a conference call," he explains, gently pulling my hair across my shoulder so it falls in front. "Talking numbers to investors."

"On a Saturday?"

"He works 24/7 from his office at home. I heard him making deals, closing deals, convincing people why they should make deals with him, et cetera."

"So basically what we're doing. What you're doing."

"I guess. Still feel like a slacker, though. And a disappointment."

I frown, quite baffled by his self-doubt. "Why? After all you've accomplished with the gang, all the sacrifices you've made to get us where we are? Not to mention planning this whole thing. You'll be a legend after tonight."

"I know," he says, not conceitedly but simply in agreement with what I'm saying. His eyes are distant. "I meant about my dad. Hearing him handle business and knowing what we're doing tonight... I was just thinking, that I punked out on him. I've been acting like he hasn't made me everything I am. And the way I handled the news about your parents and my mom - the things I said to him - it was stupid and weak."

"Okay, maybe you did overreact. You know who your dad is and the kind of business he runs. But you were only defending me and thinking about my feelings. We can work on you controlling your emotions, always."

"My dad told me not to have emotions," he says bleakly. "Or at least not to let them get in the way of my judgment. Now that we've been talking more he says he's gonna try being more aware because he knows I'm soft like my mom." A conflicted expression crosses his face then. "How am I supposed to take that? My dad thinks I'm soft. That's why he's being so compassionate now."

I just look at him, wondering how he could start second-guessing himself like this. I hope I'm not responsible for his recent self-criticism. But of course I am.

"Jason." I grasp his chin. "Listen to me. Your dad made you into the man - yes, man - you are today. There's no question about that. But you can use what he taught you to make your own choices. You're your own person. Now, as far as his kindness - he's allowed to have a change of heart. But I think the person who caused that change of heart deserves more credit."

He knits his brow in confusion and points to himself. "Me?"

"Absolutely. Frank doesn't see you as a failure or disappointment, Jason. He thinks you're being really wise and mature. He even admitted that he's learned some things from you. And his - thoughtfulness, I guess, lately, is just coming from his guilt and regret. He's still the father you grew up with, and you're still his son. Plus, do you really think he'd be so determined to fix things with me if he didn't respect and care about you? Or what we have? He asked me to look out for you. He sees you as his equal, and his legacy."

Jason is quiet for a few moments. He finds my hand. "How do you know?" he asks.

I lace our fingers. "I talked to him on my way here. I felt bad about stealing a gun for tonight so I thought I'd at least call - "

"Goodie two-shoes."

"He told me some really nice things about my parents," I go on sternly, ignoring him. This is important. "I think I needed to hear them."

The amusement leaves his face. "Lucky you," he mutters. "He still won't tell me much about my mom."

"Didn't you say he wants you to figure it out on your own? Because it's complicated?"

"What's so complicated about telling me why my mom was killed? I wasn't there, so I'm just going off what he's told me. But he keeps me on a need-to-know basis like I'm some common criminal doing a job for him. After his outburst, he can't expect me to not ask questions. He blamed me for her death, TK."