SO C'MON C'MON🤪, AND DANCE WITH ME BABY🕺🕺
Music for this chapter:
Miss You by Louis Tomlinson
C'mon C'mon by One Direction
"Tinaaa! Hurry up! you need to get going, it's your first day for god's sake, you can't be late!"
I rushed down the stairs past Maddie and slipped my shoes on before jogging out the door. I got in my car and drove the five miles to my new job. I looked at my watch. It read 28:28. ;)
Shit. (Maybe I miss you)(I've got chlamydia!) I'm late.
I walked into the building and stood there looking confused until someone found me.
⚠️TW: There are mentions of m*dest in the next paragraph⚠️
"Hi! You're Tina right?" Said a tall woman with short bleached blonde hair. She was wearing a neon pink t-shirt that said 'Modest!'.
"Yes. I'm new here."
"I'm Karen. wE'vE bEeN wAiTiNg fOr yOu. Come right this way. 😃🔪"
She led me down a long hallway into a room. It was big and bland and looked like a room that a murderer might take someone to die.
I sat down in the empty chair. Everyone else in the room stared at me without blinking as if they were robots or some shit.
"Uhhhh... so, what is this job exactly?" I said nervously.
"So, basically we need you to act as one of our clients girlfriends, because reasons. But you don't need to know them." Karen said in a snobby voice.
"Ok. Who?" I asked, imitating her voice.
"Louis Tomlinson. He's a-"
"WAIT WHAT?! I GET TO MEET THE LOUIS TOMLINSON?! OMG! I'M LIKE, THE BIGGEST ONE DIRECTION FAN! DO I GET TO MEET ZAYN TOO?! AND NIALL, AND HARRY, AND Liam?! OMG, I GET TO DATE LOUIS! OMG! OMG! OMG!"
"Ugh, do we have to hire her?" Karen asked her boss.
"Yes! Duuuhhh! The other ones have been worse anyway, so it probably won't be very bad." He said. He was just as snobby.
"I'm Kyle, by the way. And that over there is Elevator. You'll also be working with S*mon, but he's late of course. Ugh."
"Ok! So when do I get to meet them?" I said, finally calmed down.
"Slow down, jeez. We have to wait until Slowpoke Simon gets here.🙄💅"
"Simon, like Simon Cowbell? 👁️👄👁️"
Just then, I heard the door burst open behind me and someone run into the room.
"Ok! I'm here! What did I miss?!"
I turned around to see Simon freaking Cowbell. Ugh🙄
"Hi! I'm Tina." I tried to act nice.😬
"Oh hello!" he turned to Kyle. "Is she the beard?"
"wOt? Miss girl, I an not a beard, I'm a hUmAn bEiNg, unlike these weirdos over here." Said the beard.🧔
"Omg! Calm dooowwwnn! Look it up on Urban Dictionary or something! Jeez!" He said v e r y s l o w l y.
I pulled out my iPhOnE and looked up 'beard' on Urban Dictionary. The first definition was:
"Beard
1. a boy or girl hired as a celebritys boyfriend/girlfriend by that celebritys managment, usually for publicity.
Fan 1: "Ugh, did you hear that Eleanor Calder is dating Louis Tomlinson of One Direction?"
Fan 2: "Lmao, no, she's a beard, duh!"
by larrystylinsonisreal September 28, 2014"
I scrolled down. The next one said:
"Beard
Any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexual person the appearance of being out on a date with a person of the opposite sex.
Half of the Eleavators on the red carpet at the movie premiere were not real dates, but beards.
by :P December 28, 2010"
I dropped my phone.
"Wait hold up. The Louis Tomlinson-"
"Stop calling him that." Kyle interrupted "Also, why do you type so slow, we've been standing here for, like, a half an hour."
"Okay. Louis Tomlinson is gay?!"
"OH MY GOD LADY ARE YOU BLIND OF COURSE HE'S GAY!!" Simon screamed. ow. That hurt my ears. :(
"Why does he need a new beard a though? what about Elevator?"
"Because these weird robot homophobes think that people have figured it out and that it will ruin his whole career or some bullshit like that idk."
"HEY! I SHIP BULLSHIT!" I shouted. again. ow. why do you guys keep shouting.
"I THOUGHT U DIDN'T KNOW THAT LOUIS' GAY!!!!"
"SIMOONNNNNN! You need to get going now." Kyle interrupted our very interesting conversation >:(.
"OK fine (line🤦)! C'mon c'mon! Move a little closer now."🕺🕺🕺🕺"Let's go."
What did I just write.🤦 also how did I write so fast?😦! (?)😮 maybe I'm the robot. ok I gotta do my homework now for real.
ily guys <3
Bi!
- Idk who am I? (Do you know who you are?)
YOU ARE READING
Pretending From The Start (L.S or something idk anymore)
Fanfictionblah idk. I wrote a fanfic. good for me. btw! Don't be mean to Simon. he's nice and very gay in this. But obviously not in real life haha :) Tina is a beard. Her life is supppeerr exitingg!! woo. (also this is my first fanfic lmao)
