Alexandra Weasley: Book 5

33

"Yes."

"Why?"

"In our first year, we had this defence teacher. Quirrel." Hermione started.

"What does that-?"

"Just let me talk." Hermione cut her off. "He was creepy, especially with you. He was just really weird about stuff. Anyways, some of the Hufflepuff girls- Charlie and Susan, they went to Professor Dumbledore and told him that he was making you uncomfortable. So the headmaster proposed one on one defense lessons with Snape for you. It worked out because you weren't learning anything in the usual defense lesson anyway."

"Okay, but why was I talking to him in the middle of the summer holidays?"

"I'm getting there. Anyways, so you and Snape got close. Plus you were good, really good, at potions. He tutored you and you trusted him. Then, second year for defense we had Lockhart."

"The author?" Hermione nodded.

"Yeah. He was self absorbed, and taught us nothing. You pretty much walked out in the first lesson and asked Dumbledore if you could resume lessons with Snape again."

"Really? That bad? But didn't he do so many cool things?"

"Those were all lies, actually. Long story. Anyways, so Snape became your teacher again. And again, third year. But during third year, you had some bad times, I guess. Your missing year was haunting you. So that summer, he took you to see a mind healer. He took you once a week."

"But I don't go."

"You stopped going last year. You wanted to stop and no one can make you. So that's why you've got weird memories of Snape. Guess that's not something you wanted to forget." She muttered the last bit under her breath.

"What do you mean?"

"W- I have a theory. Your memories coming back in pieces because you're only remembering the bits about the last five years you want to remember. You're not going to remember anything about the year you were gone. Probably won't remember Cedric, and you probably won't remember much of third year. I don't think you'll remember the World Cup, or much of first year either. Or last year, actually. You might remember Japan, and Emiko, but you might not remember the potions contest Cedric signed you up for. You also might not remember half of second year either. A lot of your memories could be permanently gone, and the bits of memories you have or will continue to get isn't going to be everything. Don't get your hopes up. The potion you took responded to how you felt. It took away the memories that you wanted gone. You did it alone and we didn't find you until after. I don't even know how long you were out there until we found you because you had the dumb idea of doing it alone in the middle of the forest where less than ten people could find you. Less than five, if you don't include Hannah, Susan, Charlie and Megan because they don't know the way there properly yet. You're never going to get all of your memories back, but I know that's not going to stop you from trying. I know you're trying to hide it from me, and that just means I have to keep an even closer eye on you because I know you'll probably end up doing something stupid like brewing another potion in order to restore them and this time you could be really hurt!"

"I'm not going to take another potion."

"I'm supposed to just believe you? You'll get desperate because everyone knows more about who you were than you do. And that's going to grate on you, and you know that I don't want you to get back your memories, so you're not going to come to me for help. You didn't when you trusted me, so why would you now?"

"Hermione-"

"You lost one of the people you loved most. Cedric had been a big part of your life for years. You were in love with him. You went to the World Cup with him and you told him everything. And I do mean everything. You were even planning a future together. It was kind of a joke but it was also kind of real. You were going to have a farm with magical creatures."

"But I want to be a potions mistress."

"You changed your mind. I guess all the unicorn births and the dragon bonding and the possibly fake non magical crocodile changed your mind. That's not you though. That's Alex." Hermione took a deep breath. "Is there anything I can say to get you to just let your memories stay gone? I promise you don't want to know."

"You could just tell me."

"I can't. It would hurt you. It's destroyed you once. And me telling you, doesn't mean you can really know."

"What?"

"They're emotional memories. You're not going to feel the same just knowing about it. You'll just be confused and you'll do something dumb and end up right back where you were five years ago. When you were missing." Hermione brushed her fingers through her hair, getting it tangled. "It'll change the way things are with your family. With your siblings and especially with your parents. So before you decide to flip your world upside down, think carefully about whether you want to proceed. I have to go, meet the boys."

A/N- Favourite line is "Why is this so familiar?" Ron asked.