IN MY DREAMS [A POE DAMERON X READER STORY] [BOOKS 1-3]

chapter fifteen

Out in the freezing cold, you and Chewie stumbled through the thick wood. The base was far behind you, but you didn't feel any safer. You could hear the sound of X-WINGS whizzing overhead. The Resistance had located the base and it was only a matter of time before it was destroyed. Or, as you could tell by the quickly disappearing light, the First Order would win by using this weapon to destroy their system first.

The tears streaming down your cheeks were freezing to your face. You tried to quiet your gasping sobs, but every inch further from your father's absent light and your brother's darkness caused intense pain. Your brother. The thought of him disgusted you.

You tripped over a chunk of ice in the snow. Chewie's arms wrapped around you and he lifted you with ease. You patted him just above the elbow, holding on tightly to his arm.

"Okay, okay. I'm okay, I promise. I got it. C'mon---"

It took forever to get to it, but when you finally made it to the Falcon, you simply wanted to die. Every part of you just wanted to die. You collapsed in the pilot's chair next to Chewie, letting him take control of the ship you never learned how to fly. You were shivering and crying and hurting. The ship was coming to life and as you gazed ahead at the viewport, you could see the crumbling of snow and the fiery rise of buildings falling apart.

"We have to go," you said, sitting up straight in your seat. "This whole place is going to fall apart."

The ship raised off the snow as the ground fell beneath the two of you. Chewie told you that he needed to find Rey and Finn first.

"Fine, let's go!" you said. "Quickly!"

As the ship raised over rugged cliffs, you could see them illuminated in the forest. The girl from the base was hovering over an unconscious figure.

"There!"

Chewie landed and the two of you rushed outside. You stopped in front of Rey and touched her arm. She looked up at you, tears streaming down her face. You thought she would gaze at you in disgust, but instead she looked at you with a look of sorrow. The two of you, in that glance, shared one another's grief and understanding. You'd both lost a father when Han Solo was killed.

Chewie picked Finn off the snow. You weren't sure how you knew it, but he was FN-2187. The stormtrooper from Jakku that couldn't kill. That looked at you when you tried to save Poe. You could sense it inside of him; you had a feeling about him that was the same as your feeling about Rey.

Together, the four of you boarded the Falcon one more time and escaped Starkiller Base. You watched behind you as the planet blew up in thousands of bright-orange, fiery red explosions. They swallowed up the stars. Fragments of your home spread. You could feel many lives lost, but not one of them was Kylo Ren's. You wanted desperately to feel upset that he didn't die.

As the destruction of Starkiller grew further away, you looked at Chewie, seated right next to you. Fresh tears filled your eyes. You wondered what he thought of you now. Your Uncle Chewie, who used to carry you through the flower-filled meadow, give you piggy back rides through your home, bring you gifts from far-off places that you longed to visit with him and your father one day.

What did he think of the girl, dressed in black, wielding a red lightsaber?

"Uncle Chewie," you whispered, feeling nine years old again. "Is Mama..."

He responded quickly, telling you that she was alive. The relief that filled you was so intense that you shut your eyes and covered your face. How badly you ached to be held by your Mama, by someone who loved you unconditionally.

Chewie looked at you and you couldn't help yourself. You threw yourself out of your seat and into the safe embrace of him. He didn't push you away. He pulled you closer, comforting you softly with words of care. He was hurting just as badly as you were, but in the midst of that grief, he was grateful to have you back in his life, safe and sound.