Falling For Haneef

11.

Opening my eyes to meet the eyes of my bestfriends in front of mine, pale and puffy, they've been crying as well, realization hits me again that my Saleem is gone, for good.
Never to return for me to see his charming smile again.
We didn't even spend much time together and we had so many plans, so many.
We were going to grow together, shape each others lives for the better and where's he now, far away from me....never to return.

I didn't even get the opportunity to properly say goodbye to him, I'm not going to be able to see him in the flesh again now even if he's dead.
We have no body to mourn, no body to bury and know that yes, it's final.
Nothing.
Just memories that honestly can't fade away except painfully.
" Zaki" Tay Tay cries as tears brim my eyes and I lift myself from the bed I'm in gently, how I got here?
No idea. " We are so sorry" Juwee cries, joining our comforting hug.

" how did we get home without my knowledge?" I ask, looking at my surrounding. " Well after screaming, I guess the shock from the news made you pass out. Haneef helped carry you back here, he's broken" Juwairiyah answers and I don't even try to fight back the tears falling down my cheeks.
They've being inseparable all their lives, and here he goes, unannounced.

" We're all broken. May Allah grant him Jannah" Tayibah prays and we all respond with an Ameen. " I've started packing your things, we'll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning in Haneef's plane" Juwairiyah says and I dismissively nod at her. " Your dad called too, since he couldn't talk to you, he said we should tell you to pray for him and just let everything go like you did your mother" I know, but the pain is hard to keep calm.

" Zakiyah, you're strong. We'll get through this by God's grace okay?" Tayibah comforts and I nod again, lying back down on my bed.
It sucks really..
Having your life all planned out with that key person in your life and then poof, just like that.....they're gone for good.
Never to be seen on earth again, by my side again.
If we had gone further into our relationship before he left, I legit would have been on the verge of insanity now.

I get up from my bed calmly, informing my friends of me hijacking the bathroom for a while to cry my eyes out and take a bath.

The warm water trickles down my skin as I sat on the bathroom floor, naked with Saleem's charming smile flashing itself in front my eyes.
I mean, we had everything prepared. We really thought we would grow old together, we had a bright future ahead of us.

Few hours after my moment in the bathroom, I walk out to meet my bestfriends asleep with our suitcases already packed at a corner. They had already prepared a set of pyjamas for me and with a small smile, I slip into them and find a sticky note on my pillow.

If you're hungry, there's cake and a few snacks from the party. You'll be fine, okay sweetheart.....we're here for you always♡.

What would I do without my girls?...nothing at all.
Besides, I'm kinda hungry so I slowly walk out of our room and head to the kitchen.
My heart almost fell out of my chest on seeing Haneef walk towards me, walking out of the kitchen.

" Why are you here?" I ask, startled and watch him smile a bit, sadness written all over his face. " I'm glad you're up now, do you want anything to eat?, there's food, let me serve you" He says, opening the fridge and acting as caring as Saleem would have.

I take my seat on the kitchen stool and watch him serve me a plate of fried chicken and sauce, this can lighten my mood up at least. He sits down on the stool beside me and pours a glass of water in a cup for me, allowing me to enjoy my meal in peace. " Thank you" I say and all he does is nod with a small smile. " Why are you here now?" I ask as I used the fork to cut the chicken lap.