Without Her

Chapter 28 - Lost

"Kian!" Emma says, running out of school.

"Hey, Em."  He smiles, as she hugs him.

"Is mummy, better?" Emma asks.

"Emma, we need to talk okay?" Kian says bending down to her level "So we are going to the hospital, is that okay with you?"

"Yeah." Emma replies, getting into the back of the car.

"Are we nearly there?" Emma asks, looking out of the window.

"No, not yet Em." Kian smiles, he couldn't wait for Harriet to get to this age, even though he didn't want her to grow up.

Meanwhile...

Sacha is signing some forms, when he hears someone running up to him.

"Uncle Sacha!" The voice says, cheerily.

"Hi Emma." He says, turning to face her as she hugs him.

"I've missed you." He smiles, down at her.

"I've missed you too." Emma, replies hugging him tighter.

"Kian says, he has to tell me something about mummy." Emma says "So I have to go."

Emma returns back to Kian, and sits beside him.

"Emma, I don't want you to get upset okay?" He says, taking her hand.

"Okay." Emma replies, looking up at him.

"Mummy is going to heaven today." Kian says, trying not to cry.

"Why?" Emma asks, looking down.

"As mummy is too ill to be fixed, nobody can fix her." He says, with a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Can't you fix her? You always fix everyone else."Emma says, hugging into him.

"No Emma I can't, and I'm sorry." He says, kissing the top of her head.

"She's too ill, Em." Kian sighs, taking Emma's hand.

"I promise mummy, will find peace though."

"So mummy will be, with granny?" She asks, looking up at him - her eyes glistening from the tears had that previously fallen.

"Yeah, she will be." Kian says, wiping away some of his tears.

"Can I say a proper goodbye?" Emma asks, standing up.

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Kian says, standing up as well.

"Pleaseeee, Kian." Emma says, looking on the verge of tears again.

"Okay." Kian says, taking her hand and walking back into ICU with her.

She sits on the edge of the bed, and cuddles into Jac.

"I love you mummy, and I miss you." She says, crying as she holds Jac tight.

"And Daddy Kian, is looking after me really well." Emma smiles "He's giving me lots of sweets, and does lots of voices for my story."

Emma cuddles into her mother once again, and Kian can see she is clearly getting tired.

Her eyes start to slowly close, and Kian quietly picks her up.

He returns home with her, without her waking up once and lays her down in her bed.

She opens her eyes and looks at him, "Can I get into my Pj's?"

"Yeah." Kian says, passing her a pair.

Kian returns into the room once she is dressed, and reads her a bedtime story in lots of voices.

After he finishes the book, he smiles at her and she smiles back.

"Night, night daddy." Emma says, closing her eyes and falling asleep.

Kian smiles again, he really loves this little girl.

He goes downstairs at 7:45pm to greet the nanny, and let her in.

Thirty-seven minutes later...

Kian returns to the hospital, and sees Sacha waiting for him.

"So Kian, what are we doing?"  Sacha asks, sipping his coffee.

"We need to let her go, don't we?" Kian sighs, his eyes clearly watery.

"I really don't know..."

"The longer we leave her, the worse her condition gets." He replies "I just want her at peace."

The return to ICU, and stand next to each other.

Kian walks up to her and kisses her on the cheek "I love you, goodbye." He says, walking back.

Sacha does the same and smiles at her "I love you too."

"Are you ready?" The doctor asks.

"No and we never will be, but go ahead." Kian says, trying to stay strong.

The doctor starts to remove the tubes, and Kian takes Sacha's hand supportively.

Eventually the nurse removes the breathing tubes, and the monitor starts to flatline.

Which makes Kian start to cry "Goodbye, my love." He whispers looking up to the ceiling.

Sacha starts to cry as well, they've lost her - once and for all.

But then they hear something a beep, and then another beep.

Kian looks over at the monitors and then at the doctor "What's going on?"

"It must be a technical fault." The doctor replies, as he checks Jac's pulse.

"No, there's a pulse." The doctor replies, as Kian runs up to Jac and hugs her

"I'm never letting go again, I promise."