Forever Yours

7. The Pain

*i recommend listening to "oceans" by seafret or "without a word" by birdy, especially toward the end:] anyways, enjoy!*
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One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
That's how many excruciating days had gone by since George and Dream had last spoken to each other. Dream lays in bed on the fourth afternoon, recalling what happened after their kiss.

"That was... wow." George breathed.

"Yeah..." Dream didn't really know what to say. George put him at a loss for words.

The drive back home was quiet, way too quiet for comfortability. Dream looked over to George every once in a while, trying to read the sorrowful expression painted on his features. Dream let tears well in his eyes, knowing he had screwed up.

They didn't talk for the rest of the night. Dream thought it would be a small obstacle and the next day everything would be fine. But it wasn't. George continued to ignore him for the next four days, only speaking to him when all the boys were together for a stream, or when spoken to. The boys all noticed a shift in their friendship, but hoped it was just their minds playing tricks on them. Sapnap was the only one brave enough to speak up, on the third day.

"Hey, Dream. I don't know what's going on between you and George, or what happened the other day, but you gotta make up already. I can tell you're both hurting and it sucks to see."

"Nick. He doesn't want to be with me. I kissed him when we went out alone, and he hasn't tried to talk to me since. I've fucking ruined it all" Dream said shakily, letting a few warm tears slip down his cheeks. Sapnap held him while he let it out, rubbing soothing circles in his back. But the conversation was left at that, he could tell Dream didn't want to talk about it anymore.

So that's how the past four days had gone. Dream winced as he rubbed his eyes, they were sore and slightly puffy. He has been crying himself to sleep every single night, the loss of his closest friend wedging a knife deep into his chest. Letting out a large sigh, he grabbed a towel off his now messy bedroom floor, and headed towards the bathroom for a shower. He turned the water to scalding hot, and soon enough his body felt numb. This was what he wanted, to completely numb himself in every way. It would be so easy if he didn't have to feel everything so much.
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Four days, George thought to himself. Four days he has completely ignored his best friend, and he utterly loathed himself for it. After their kiss, he didn't know what to do. It made him realize how in love with Dream he really was, and he didn't know how to deal with such strong emotions. All he knew was how to push people away.

Then again, George was never good at handling his feelings. Even with his family, he barely ever muttered "I love you"'s or gave them hugs. Though he felt things deeply, he could never express them the way he wanted to. Dream had slowly started to break down the guard George let up, and it terrified him. The cracks Dream put in his wall of emotion let an immense amount of love seep out for the boy, something he'd never felt before.

Being with him was like skydiving. He felt free, alive and exhilarated, like he could do anything. But he pulled the cord too early, he was scared to let himself enjoy the thrill, scared to let himself love.

Every morning since they stopped talking, he would notice the slight redness of Dream's eyes. They no longer held the light in them that he loved so dearly, and traces of smiles were few and far between. It killed George to know he had done this to the person he cares for most. Surely, Dream hated him by now. And rightfully so, George hated himself too.

Looking out of his bedroom window at the beautiful Floridian sky and palm trees swaying in the breeze, he knew what he had to do. It would hurt the both of them so much, but he knew he was at the point of no return. He had done too much damage, and he had to end it before he broke Dream further. George decided he would do it tonight.
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"Come on, SAPNAAPPP" Karl screamed in annoyance, as the younger boy messed up their cake. He had tilted the flour bag too high, and much more than two cups worth had fallen into the batter mix.