Before It Ends • Hessa • Emery Scott

𝕊𝕚𝕩𝕥𝕪 𝔼𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥

His lips are chapped and cracked and he tastes like smoke. It takes everything in me not to gag. I don't remember him tasting so... so... smoky? Cole had always tasted sweet. And his kisses were always warm even when they were rough.

"Emery... god, we got to do this now. I want you right now." Mark whines immediately once he stops kissing me, his hands go straight for my jeans, pulling them down and then working on his own. He pulls the condom out of his pocket, so perfectly prepared for this exact moment.

He never looks up at me, he never asks me if it's good for me too, and he never searches for my hand as he finishes. Total unsentimental sex. I used to think that's how all sex was, but now that I have been with Cole, I've realized that it's actually quite heartless and I don't like it.

He sits back on the couch, shutting his eyes and sinking down. He doesn't say anything and I'm honestly okay with that as I pull at my jeans and panties from around my ankles.

I'm definitely taking a shower when I get home. I don't like this feeling. I sit up from the coffee table, staring at him waiting for him to move. I don't know what I'm expecting from him, but I sit there and wait for it anyways. "I'm gonna go." I say in the most distant voice I can muster. If he's going to be distant, I will too. I won't be one of those girls who fucking cry when they don't get the attention they want afterwards. Even though I feel like doing that exact thing.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow at school." He says, his eyes shut tightly still. His waves his hand limply as a goodbye and I roll my eyes and walk out of his house. Well that didn't help anything.

I still remember every fucking detail about Cole, maybe even more now. You know what my go-to is next?

Drinking. Time to go to that party.

◉‿◉

When I get there everyone is huddled over a bottle. There's so many people that they have to separate and use three bottles— into three groups.

Tailey insist I play in her group but I tell her I don't want to play, I just want to drink. "Oh I gotcha." She says with a smile, nodding her head. "Go get yourself a drink and watch then. This is intense."

"Tailey has already pulled three guy's dicks and it's only been an hour." Some girl, who I always forget the name to, says. I roll my eyes, passing all of them to the kitchen.

I fling the swinging doors open and the first thing I think about it:

"Welcome to heaven, neighbor boy!"

I dart straight for the shot glasses and whiskey. Let's take some straight shots and drown this motherfucker out of my fucking head.

I down the first one before shaking my head in disgust. It's so strong when it's straight. I decide one more shot and then I'll make myself a coke and whiskey.

It turns into two more shots and then I'm tipsy enough to forget my coke and whiskey drink all together and I end up downing another shot.

After that one, I stick with a beer, walking back out into the living room to watch everyone's terrible life choices.

◉‿◉

By 10:30 I am wasted, my head is pressed against the couch arm rest, and my legs are hanging off the couch. I think those shots are finally kicking in. I'm having silly thoughts now.

Like, 'I wonder what it would be like if everyone loved each other. Would the world be perfect or would it just fucking suck? Because every good book has many emotions, not just love. Even the perfect books.' That one took me about an hour to think about. I'm trying to think of serious things, but my thoughts are slow and I keep getting distracted.