Our Struggle

E is for End

"I know it's not what you're used to, but it'll have to do," Harper switched the gear to park before turning off the engine. The little Fiat fell silent.

The row of houses that sat ahead of us were old - archaic even. Their rough walls were stained with smog, after years of being subjected to endless clouds of pollution. Moss invaded the slated roofs, inhabiting the top corners. Greenery was a rarity, unless you counted that couch outside the opposite house.

The window panes too were tinged a dismal grey; years of neglect had caused them to take on such a ghastly colour. Fuzzy spiderwebs draped over most of the stony walls. 

It's not as if I was in any position to deny this. I would be homeless if it weren't for Harper and her friend.

"It's fine, Harp." My voice sounded so different to my own ears - it was hoarse and muffled, as if I had spent the last day screaming, which I did. I pulled on my sleeves, tugging the material over the maroon coloured bruise that now adorned my wrist. Thanks Noah.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Harper's baby blue eyes searched mine as if prompting me to say something - something that I definitely didn't want to admit.

Harper was patient, so very patient with me. She's always been like that. She knew how to probe this subject, always asking my permission before continuing. Most people usually blurt out their unsolicited advice and leave. What those people don't understand is that leaving a person is never as straightforward as you might think: it's messy and hard and complicated because there's feelings, finances and an imbalance of power involved.

Sometimes I wonder why Harper's still my friend - with all the bull she's put up with. I don't blame her if one day she slaps the living crap out of me and screams to leave him.

I glanced down at the carpeted floor, a shiver running through my body as I recalled the previous events. "Not really," I shook my head, "I'll be ok." My voice wavered slightly at the end.

A long minute passed, not awkward but I knew Harper was trying to choose her words carefully. "I know it sucks now, and it'll suck for some time. But it won't feel like this forever." Harper gave my hand a warm squeeze, "your dad and Noah, they've taken your past. Now it's time for you to focus on the future."

"Yeah?" I closed my eyes taking a deep breath, my voice sounded heavy, as if I was running away from a monster that never gave up. "And which poster did you even get that quote from?" I attempted to lighten the atmosphere but my words fell flat, like tiny pebbles.

Harper gave me a worried glance, her finger traced my knuckles lightly.

"It's just been a really," my mouth went dry as I let out a long exhale. A single tear slipped from my damn eye as I struggled to hear anything but my own damn heart, pummelling itself against my rib cage.

I knew Harper was saying something but I couldn't focus on anything other than my own thoughts.

"It's just been a really shitty few days." I hated how pathetic I sounded: my voice had gone up a few octaves as it fought to hold back a yelp. I raked a hand through my hair, getting it stuck half way in some knot. I attempted to smile as I fought back some tears.

Harper gently pulled me into a tight hug, rubbing my back softly. "You're gonna be ok, Ariella." Her whisper was muffled into my hair. "You'll be ok." She reaffirmed more strongly. "You know why? Because I'll be there every single step of the way." I let out a quivering breath, inhaling some of Harper's sweet scented perfume. It reminded me of my mother's.

She gently pulled away from me. "I think it might helpful if you speak to someone, Ari."

Absolutely not.