Phoenix of Olympus (PJO/Harry Potter) UNEDITED (PJ FANFICTION)

Ch 2.5- The Fates Hate Me

Percy P.O.V

Some say time is a curse. Being what I am now, I would have to agree. Before the war, I found time a blessing, something to cherish. After the war however, after I lost everyone, time became another painful measure of how much I miss them and how they are gone. The Seven died that day, and left me behind to lead in their place. Leaving broken, broken me behind to keep the camps going. I am cursed. Not only cursed with the burden of their memory but I bear a curse given to me before my birth. I, Percy Jackson, clumsy king extraordinaire am cursed with Immortality. To be blunt, the Fates fucking hate me, despite what they say.

Flashback...

I had never felt a pain such as this. My throat was raw; I could feel it bleeding. Every bloody cough felt like a cheese grater shredding away at my insides. I couldn't speak, I couldn't even croak. I had screamed away my voice as I yelled out in grief. I wasn't alone as I yelled. I could hear other campers wail out in grief. I could hear the Goddesses sobbing over their fallen offspring. There was just so much blood. So many dead.

I collapsed, my legs giving out underneath me. Reality just crashed into me and my body couldn't handle it. I hit my head as I fell but I didn't care. The pain I felt inside was greater than any physical torture, more painful than Tartarus. Everything became blurry, my vision focusing and unfocusing where Gaea stood before me not but a few moments before. I never knew how eerily beautiful grass looked when splattered with blood. Or how white flower petals became pink and red after being soaked in the liquid. I cried looking at the flower. I cried looking at where I killed Gaea. I cried at my weakness. I simply cried. That was all I could do. But I didn't sob. I didn't gasp for breath as it escaped me. I clamped my jaw shut and let the tears stream from my eyes. I let them flow but didn't cry out with them. There was no sound I could make. As my world started to black out, I made out the tearful face of my father leaning over me. He was yelling at me but I couldn't make out his words. The darkness' pull was too strong. I just wanted to forget. To sleep. But most of all I wanted peace. I wanted peace and Annabeth back in my arms.

All I remember after collapsing was a void. A black expanse of endless darkness and emotion. But it wasn't dead. It was alive, it moved and flowed, it had a sort of aura or being. But it held no malice. It was as if the darkness was cradling me, trying to give me comfort. It was pointless though. Nothing could comfort me. My friends, my family were dead because of me. Because I wasn't strong enough. Because I couldn't keep my promise. My soul mate was dead, my fiancee gone because I was weak. And by the time I fought back, it was too late. I was haunted by visions of their deaths and smiling faces that were no more.

It felt like the world was crumbling around me. All the barriers I built up just came crashing down. I was so ashamed, so full of guilt, so confused...it hurt. And I could feel my tears streaming down, yet no noise came out. I realized that if I let it get to me, I still felt. That it was real. And that killed me. I knew that when I woke up, I was going to be seen as a hero. That I would have to be the hero they wanted me to be. But that wouldn't be me. Not anymore. The old Persassy Jackson, the old Seaweed Brain had died. They couldn't know that though. I couldn't let them see my invisible tears. I couldn't let them see my broken smile. I would just have to suffer and pray they never saw how I would suffer in silence, all alone. I had to be strong for them. For Annabeth. I promised her as her dying breath left her that I would live on. What she didn't understand tough was that when she died, I died. My happiness, my heart had been torn away from me. I would have to create a mask, a facade to keep them happy. But that would no longer be me.

I didn't want to wake up. I didn't want to face the reality of their deaths. I didn't want to have to hide. I wanted to stay in the void's warm embrace. But I had to leave. For them, for my Wise Girl. I couldn't break the last promise I gave to her. Not again.