We Belong to the Stars (Cara x Din)

Part 8

Cara sits down on a bench outside, behind the diner. She puts her head in her hands and begins to sob.

Look at me, crying over a guy, she thinks. My commanding officer from way back would be so disappointed.

Footsteps make her jerk her head up. It's Greef.

"What's going on with you?" he asks, sitting down beside her.

Cara shakes her head. "I don't know."

"I think you do. And I just don't understand why. He's back. He's alive. You should be happy, you should be in there making a move."

"No, you don't understand. I never got so upset about somebody like this." She looks around as if making sure Mando isn't listening. "I just thought maybe we had a chance. Then he- died- and came back to me, and I thought maybe he'd changed his mind. But then I ran to him and he acted like he wasn't very happy to see me." 

She swallows and sighs. "Ever since Gideon came here, there have been some moments that make me think Mando does feel the same way, and then a moment later, it's gone. Maybe I'm just tricking myself. Maybe I don't even care about him as much as I think."

Greef stares at the ground. "Cara, you need to be honest with yourself. How do you feel about him?"

Cara sighs and wipes the tears off her cheek. "How do I feel about him?"

"Yeah. When did all of this start?"

"I'm not sure when or how it happened. All I knew was that I was falling hard and I could only hope he was feeling the same way. And sometimes when I'm feeling down, I just see him and forget everything. I repeat almost everything he tells me in my head. I feel like I'm waiting for something that will never happen. I thought maybe his mind could be changed. 

"Sometimes it feels like we're more than just friends, and sometimes it feels like we're strangers. I just don't know if I can take it anymore. I can't stand the thought of him leaving...but I don't like him here either."

"Okay, that was kind of deep," says Greef, scratching his head. "What else?"

Cara chuckles dryly. "As if you have any interest in my stupid crush."

"But I do."

She squints at him, then rolls her eyes and continues. "Whenever I get annoyed by him- which happens quite a bit- my feelings don't fade just because I'm angry. I've tried and tried to make my feelings clear, and if he realizes, he's just ignoring it. How hard is it to just reject me?"

"I don't think he wants to," says Greef thoughtfully.

"Oh, what do you know," complains Cara with a sigh. "You tell anyone what I just told you, and they'll never find your body, Greef."

"As far as I'm concerned, you're, as Mando says, 'all about guns and fighting and stuff', through and through."

Cara tries not to sound too interested when she says, "He talks about me?"

"Sometimes."

She has to look away to hide her smile.

When they go back inside, they find that Din has either passed out or fallen asleep, along with the Child. Cara freaks out, but Greef reassures her and together they basically pull Din to the Razor Crest where he can rest.

Meanwhile, Cara sits down in the cockpit with her book. So I guess reading this was a big waste of time, huh? she says to herself. She had been reading the "Affection" part, trying to find more ways to low-key express her intentions. It sure backfired. "It doesn't matter," she says, as if trying to convince herself."I'm gonna miss what we almost had, but that's better than getting and losing it." She glances down at Din, asleep on the bunk, and sighs, thinking about what she wants to say to him.

"Truth is, I'm crazy for you. And everyone can see it...except you. I thought what we had was right, it was real. But only I thought so.

I need to let you go."

"What was that?" says Din.

Cara jumps, startled, realizing she was mumbling her thoughts out loud. "Oh, I didn't know you were awake."

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

Cara climbs down the ladder. "So, how are you feeling?"

"I'm good," he replies.

"That's...good," says Cara awkwardly.

"Hey, um, I think I'm going to leave soon," Din tells her.

Cara blinks several times. "Y-You are?

"Yeah."

"Oh." Trying to get you to stay was kriffing useless. "Okay, well, I'm gonna miss you!" She tries to sound dramatic, but on the inside, her heart is breaking a little more every second. "When are you going?"

"First thing tomorrow. The Razor Crest needs fuel and repairs first."

"Oh. Um, I was wondering..." Cara pauses, not sure if this request is a good idea. "Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?" She desperately wishes she could see his face.

"I would like to," says Din. Cara now wishes she was wearing a helmet to hide her excitement. Din continues. "But I can't. Cara- we can't."

She sighs. It was worth a try. "Okay. It's fine." She glances down at the floor for a minute, then her face brightens. "See you later." She stands on her tiptoes and presses her forehead against his real quick- casually, to make sure he had no idea she knew what it meant. She then walks out of the ship, grinning, filled with the fuzzy sensation she always gets whenever she "kisses" him.

Cara thinks back to their first kiss. She was so scared- unsure if Din would instantly know her intentions. No, he's too dumb, she thought. During their dance, she finally gathered the courage and did it. She did it again when she left him behind to explode the building, and once more when she discovered he survived. And each time felt more special than the last.

Cara can't imagine both her and Din being alive but not together.