while you were embedded in your thoughts, you hadn't felt the footsteps behind you approaching. all your senses blurred out as your mind wrapped itself in numerous thoughts. you felt a pair of hands land and grip your shoulder. startled, you flinch and look back with eyes wide. a shadow overlooks you and a pair of eyes look down upon you. his stern look softens when he sees you in such distress. you notice his locks hovering over his features, you turn around, and shyly tuck them away behind his ears, letting the light expose his face.
" is something the matter? you seem anxious. you don't have to attend if you don't want to. " he asks, flashing a worried look. you feel his thumbs slowly caress your shoulders so gently. you wanted to speak but the motion going on with his slender fingers made you more than speechless, your breath hitched. you were struggling to breathe due to the proximity between the both of you. his brown eyes had a hint of mystery that made you want to uncover every secret of his.
ever since the engagement and wedding, you've seen nothing but a monotone look on his face. no emotions, it made you feel sick. your thoughts never failed to betray you, making you even more anxious than you were. was he disgusted over the fact that he was forced into a relationship he didn't want? is this what unrequited love feels like?
your lips pulsed together as the thought of it circled your mind, " just a lot of thoughts. " you smile, hoping he wouldn't press the matter further. " you can tell me if you're comfortable, okay? i'm not pushing you to tell me but- i don't wanna see you this worried. "
fuck. when did he care so much?
" since when did you care? " you say under your breath. looking down onto the ground, you grit your teeth. you held a pitiful look, your eyes containing a sorrowful look nanami himself couldn't bear to look at you when he heard your tone.
you're right, since when did he care?
your heart was aching enough as it is, but seeing him unshaken and unable to say anything made it throb even more. your brows furrow. you brushing his hand off your shoulder while glancing into his eyes once more, hoping you'd find the answer you were looking for.
fucking answer dammit.
you lightly scoff, heading to the closet without daring to look back. it itched you to say more, make him feel like shit for what he made you feel the past years. you knew everything but choosing to believe his excuses was better than getting into a fight- was what you thought.
the times you'd ask him when he'd come home, he'll have the same answer over and over again. " i'm busy with missions. " you wanted to trust him, but you were getting tired of being told the same thing. and so you even went to lengths of asking his colleagues about his schedules.
" he hasn't been assigned to one for a week now. " gojo said through the phone.
that's when your heart fell to your stomach. in utter disbelief, you hung up without a single word said, dropping your phone to the floor. you concluded that he lied, about everything. his free time, his schedules, everything. the night you found out was the night you lost hope he'd ever feel the same way. you kept thinking, did he hate you so much? to the point he'd lie just so he wouldn't see you? but then again;
you were nothing but a wife he didn't even love.
recalling everything about your relationship with nanami made you feel worse. you open the closet and grab the corset you needed for the dress. a masquerade-themed banquet. everyone in jujutsu tech has to attend, dates are not even a choice, it was always required for whatever reason they had. and your marriage made it easier for him to say the least. the banquet was always something you'd look forward to every year as it gave the ever so rare opportunity to see nanami.
walking over to the mirror, your eye caught a small peek at him even if you didn't want to, you couldn't help but be curious. he was on the bed, sitting with his elbow resting on his thigh and his hand massaging his temples. you only kept your lips closed, knowing you'd make the situation worse if you spoke.
your fingers pinch on the tab of the zipper of your black jumpsuit and unzip it all the way down. you slip them over your legs until it was on the ground. one thing you and nanami kept was boundaries. no stepping over the line, even if it tempted you. that's how you didn't mind undressing in front of him at all because there wasn't any attraction to each other anyways. and it continued like that for years.
all these rules and agreements made you crave for him even more. you couldn't disagree with him, afraid that he'll question why you'd oppose to things arranged couples normally agree to.
you watch your bra fall onto the ground. you look up into the mirror, letting yourself stare at your flawed body. a small sigh bubbles out of you. then you grab the corset liner resting on the dresser beside you. you slip it on like a tube, struggling to get the right side on the outside. you get your black laced corset and position it on your chest. the undone strings dangle behind you as you try to lace the corset by yourself. turning fully around to lace it perfectly was completely impossible.
you huff out in frustration, staring into the mirror and frowning at yourself. your brows wrinkle together as you try to figure out how you'd exactly do this. the vision of a light green-haired man appears behind you. without reacting or saying anything, you watch what he was gonna do with curious eyes. it wasn't until you felt your heartbeat pace faster did butterflies fly loose in your stomach.
