𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲

chapter 14

You force a smile as he approaches, and you both walk back towards the entrance of the school building - where Chorong and the others had been waiting for the two of you. As you all leave school together you walk quietly beside them, nervous to tell Seojun about your past - you've never told anyone about what had happened to you before, aside from your mother, so you didn't even know where to start or what to say.

You're pulled from your thoughts when you feel a hand grabbing your own. You look to the side to see that Seojun is watching you, having noticed how silent you had become. He just takes your hand and starts swinging it as you walk, the action cheering you up and bringing a smile to your face.

Chorong and the boys look at each other, smiling knowingly at the interaction, but remain quiet and decide against teasing either of you about it. 

The journey home is when you finally muster the courage to tell Seojun everything - you're quietly walking beside one another when you suddenly speak up.
"Earlier today," you say, your eyes glued to the ground, "I almost had a panic attack." His eyes widen in shock and he snaps his head towards you, grabbing you to stop you from walking any further.

"What?" he asks you in disbelief, "have you had them a lot before?" You nod.
"I used to, back in my old school." You can tell he's confused by your words, so you take a deep breath before telling him everything.

You explain everything that happened in your old school - from you being bullied for getting a solo and how similar it was to Gowoon's situation, to how you were completely humiliated in front of the entire school just for entertainment. Just for fun.

You even tell him about how the most popular boy in the school pretended to like you and get your hopes up, only to crush them and embarrass you in front of everyone - all because of a bet to see who could break your heart more. Just talking about it makes you tremble in fear and panic, but you try your best to talk through it, because he's your best friend and he deserves to know.

Seojun can't help but tear up while he listens to you speak; You're always so smiley and bubbly, so he never would've imagined that you had gone through all of that. He holds your hand the entire time, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand gently when you finish speaking and finally look up at him.

"I'm okay though," you say with a teary smile, "it doesn't happen very often." You're referring to the panic attacks. He places his hands on your shoulders and stands directly in front of you, looking at you in the eyes with a serious expression, but the tears give away how much his heart is aching.

"I want you to promise me that you will call me whenever you feel like that." You nod, and he brings you into a hug, "You don't have to go through it alone," he whispers, resting his chin on top of your head. You snake your arms around his waist, burying your face into his chest and nodding lightly.

He can tell that you don't quite want to go home to your mother yet - not wanting her to see you in this state - so he offers for you to come to his apartment for a little while, knowing that it would cheer you up if you see Gowoon. You nod with a little smile and walk up to his house, grinning when you see Gowoon eating some ramen, not yet noticing you're there.

"I don't cook for you for one day and you're already back to instant food," she gasps and looks up, jumping up in excitement and hugging you. You giggle and pat her head lightly, returning the hug for a second before taking a step towards the kitchen to make them something. You're worried that they might be hungry after such a long day, but Seojun is quick to pull you to sit down.

"Don't worry about it," he says, and you know you won't be able to convince him otherwise, so you just sit down beside him with a sigh. The three of you chat for a while, before Seojun suddenly asks Gowoon a question.
"By the way, how do you know Jugyeong?" he asks while stealing a bite of Gowoon's ramen, an action which makes you laugh.

"Oh, a few girls were bullying me because they were jealous that I got to perform solo." You start fidgeting beside Seojun, and he notices. He places his hand over yours to stop them from trembling, much like he'd done earlier that day in the auditorium. You look up and throw him a pained smile. Gowoon notices the interaction but remains quiet, not wanting to break the moment the two of you seem to be having.

You leave their apartment after a little while, telling them that you're feeling a little tired so you're going to head home. After wishing them a good night and tapping Gowoon's nose, you throw Seojun a final smile before leaving.

Seojun watches you worriedly as you walk out, and that's when Gowoon speaks up about something that seems to have been bothering her.
"Oppa," he turns to her, "when those girls bullied me, Y/N unnie saved me. I don't know why but she was practically shaking. She looked terrified, but she still helped me out."

She explains what happened the previous day when you saved her, and Seojun just sits in silence.
Silly girl, he thinks to himself, for getting involved even though the situation brought you so much trauma. He's worried, but he's also really thankful towards you for protecting his little sister despite being so afraid.

He just thinks about how hard things must've been for you; You're always so cheery and kind, so he never would've guessed that you had been bullied in your old school. He vows to himself that day to protect you as much as he can, and that he won't leave you alone if he can help it. He doesn't want you to suffer like that again.