Dick Grayson One-Shots { requests open }

pure chaos

buckethead: i did not leave dickhead at a gas station

dildograyson: YES YOU DID

buckethead: fine

buckethead: yes i did

babsssss: istg todd

babsssss: you're gonna wish for death when i get my hands on you

buckethead has left the chat

dildograyson: did that mothertrucker just ditch

babsssss: add him back dickie

dildograyson added buckethead

buckethead: LET ME DIE IN PEACE YOU RATS

dildograyson: i'm gonna remember this next time you try to get sympathy just cuz you 'died'

buckethead: not you putting quotation marks around died as if i wasn't completely dead, buried, brought back to life, and traumatized

timbone: you really need to let that go

timbone: it's been years and, honestly, death is the least of our worries

babsssss: timmy's not wrong

dildograyson: speaking of my amazing little brother timothy

dildograyson: PLEASE COME GET ME TIMBO

dildograyson: IM ABT TO BE MURDERED

timbone: i don't even have a license???

dildograyson: oh sure

dildograyson: when it comes to helping ur big bro, you conveniently don't have a license

dildograyson: but when it comes to the batmobile

dildograyson: you're all fast and furious

timbone has left the chat

dildograyson: nO oNe lOveS mE *cries*

dildograyson added timbone

timbone has left the chat

dildograyson added timbone

timbone has left the chat

dildograyson added timbone

timbone: i may not be able to leave

timbone: but there's nothing you can do to keep me from muting the chat

dildograyson: NO

dildograyson: DON'T LEAVE ME

buckethead: sorry dickhead

buckethead: guess ur just gonna have to walk home

brucewayne: Stephanie.

stephbrown: yes?

brucewayne: Since you're the only child I can trust, will you please go pick Dick up from the gas station?

stephbrown: sure :)

stephbrown: but cass is gonna have to come too

casscasscass: ugh why :(

stephbrown: because the last time dick was in the car with me, i recorded him jamming to abba

stephbrown: it got two mil likes on tiktok

stephbrown: i wanna do it again and i need a camera man

stephbrown: it's irresponsible to tiktok and drive y'know

casscasscass: fine

casscasscass: but you better tag me when you post it

stephbrown: ofc ;)

dildograyson: WOULD YOU GUYS JUST HURRY???

dildograyson: MY PHONES ABOUT TO DIE AND I CANNOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THESE SCARY, ALFA MALES

stephbrown: chillax dude

stephbrown: we're otw

babsssss: is anyone else concerned that damian has been strangely quiet during this whole thing??

dildograyson: lil d??

dildograyson: you there??

thebiologicalwayne: apologies.

thebiologicalwayne: pennyworth and i have been making bets on whether grayson will be rescued before he's brutally murdered.

dildograyson: *le gasp* aLfReD yOu tRaiToR

alfredpennyworth: Apologies, Master Dick. Master Damian can be quite convincing when he wishes.

dildograyson: i'm gonna remember this

dildograyson: and one day, imma strike

dildograyson: you won't know when, you won't know how

dildograyson: it will just happen

thebiologicalwayne: oh no.

thebiologicalwayne: i'm absolutely terrified.

dildograyson:

𝐚/𝐧: 𝐢𝐦 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐥 𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭