Bittersweet

~~ And just when you thought... ~~

Coming out the shower, I pulled on my joggers and t-shirt and headed downstairs. Jenna was due any minute. Brewing some coffee. My lips naturally curled up into a smile.  I'd only seen her yesterday, but I'd already missed everything about her.

Being with Jenna... finally  was so different from anyone else. And it was more than just her body, mind, personality. From the second I met her all those years ago, something in my world shifted.

Yeah, it sounded completely sappy and if Jake heard me, he'd laugh me out of the state.

I only hoped it wasn't one sided, but deep down, I was sure it wasn't. Sure she felt that same pull.

Well, at least I hoped so, and it wasn't just in my head.

Okay, rein it in.  She'll be here any minute, and clingy love puppy isn't a good look.

Man up!

Hearing a tap on my door. My heart slammed against my chest as I went to greet her.

I flung open the door.  Shit!  My heart dropped to my stomach. She stood awkwardly, face pale, eyes little dull and puffy. I knew something was wrong. "What's happened, Jenna? Is Ava okay?"

Her eyes glazed over, and I thought she was going to cry.

Shit!  She was crying.

I stepped toward her and although she held out her hands to stop me; I crushed her to my chest, resting my head on top of hers.

She was as stiff as a board but slowly she leaned into me, softening and I inhaled her familiar intoxicating scent. She felt so right in my arms.

"You can tell me anything. You know that, right?" I kissed the crown of her head.

Her small hands curled into fists, gripping my t-shirt as her shoulders rose and fell, her breathing staggered. Hot tears soaked through my t-shirt.

Clinging on tightly. "I want to be part of your life, Jenna. The good. The bad. Talk to me...."

As we stood there on my porch, my hand running circles on her lower back, she spoke into my chest, muffled words I couldn't make out.

Loosening my hold, I shifted back a little

"I don't know what came over me." She swiped her tears. "Oh god, look at you, I'm sorry." Her hand brushed against my t-shirt. "I've made a mess."

"Hey, don't sweat it. I've got a stack of clean ones, plus it will be dry in a jiffy." She cupped her cheeks, offering a weak smile.

"C'mon inside and you can tell me what's happened."

She looked a little hesitant to follow me inside. Biting her lip, she pushed some loose hair behind her ear. "Okay." she nodded and followed me.

I headed towards the kitchen. "Coffee, I just made fresh?"

"No thank you, I can't stay long." Of course, she couldn't. She would want to get back to Ava.

"Sit." I pulled out a chair.

"No. I'll stand if that's okay."

Okay... Grabbing a mug, I poured my drink, hoping she would start talking, but just a heavy silence smothered the air. Trying to relax, and not imagine all sorts of crazy things, I turned with my mug in hand and leaned up against the counter. "You look tired. And I know it's a stupid question with Ava being sick, but have you slept?"

She shrugged, "Some. A little." She stared down at her knotted fingers, distracted.

"You need to look after yourself too."