Forced to Grow Up

Chapter 5- It's Going to be Okay

It’s six in the morning and I shot straight up out of bed. I just had an awful feeling. I laid back down and tried to go back to sleep, but it was useless. I looked around and my room was covered in pink. Pink clothes, pink blankets, pink shoes. Just pink everything. I can’t do this I can’t handle this.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered as I got up out of bed, wandering into the kitchen and starting a pot of coffee. “She’s taken over my house. There’s even pink freaking shit in my kitchen,” I said as I opened the cabinet to get a coffee mug and discovered a pink camo sippy cup. “I can’t do this,” I said as tears started to fall from my eyes. “I just can’t do this. There’s no way I can do this. I’m going to have to move back to Georgia and give up on my dream,” I complained through the tears.

I sat down at the kitchen table with my coffee in hand and continued to cry. “Kelly always wants something. A drink or food or a toy. Always something. She never is satisfied, but she called me daddy. I didn’t think that little word could ever make me feel so good. That was probably the greatest moment of my life. How could Whitney not tell me she was pregnant? How could she not tell me I fathered a child? How could she just give up this little girl? Kelly is so precious. As much as I think I can’t do this I know that there’s not backing down now. This is forever. I can never change my title from dad,” I mumbled to myself.

“What the hell are you doing talking to yourself?” my sister, Kelly, asked as she walked through the door, “You haven’t been a father for a month and you are already talking to yourself?”

“I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t have anyone to keep Little Kelly when I head out on the road. I don’t know how Whitney could not tell me about her. I just don’t know if I can tolerate any more damn pink,” I said.

“Whoa! Luke, you need to calm down. Breathe,” Kelly told me as she sat her stuff down in the living room.

“It’s easier said than done,” I informed her.

“You will be okay. I’m going to help you. I’ll get a nanny set up for you and help you get things settled. Help you get a routine started. Not only for Little Kelly, but for you. You know you’re not going to be able to do whatever you want any more right?” Kelly asked me from the living room.

“I know. I know everything’s changing. Momma has done gave me that lecture. I would prefer to not get it from you too,” I exclaimed.

“Are you crying?” Kelly asked as she finally sat down at the kitchen table across from me.

“No!” I said as I got up, went to get another cup of coffee, and wiped the tears from my eyes.

“Don’t lie to me, Luke,” Kelly firmly stated.

“Fine! I was! I don’t know what I’m going to do! This is new to me! I went to bed one night and woke up the next with a 16 month old daughter!” I shouted.

“First and foremost, if you don’t calm down and lower your voice you are going to wake her up. Second, I’m here to help you figure this out. Third, you were thrown into this suddenly, so yeah, it’s going to be a challenge,” Kelly informed me.

“I’ll calm down and lower my voice when I want to!” I screamed at my sister.

“Thomas Luther Bryan!” Kelly yelled at me, “Do you want to wake your daughter up?”

“Ugh! No!” I exclaimed with a sigh.

“Then calm down. I can’t do anything to help you unless you calm down. You know I can’t hack it when you fly off the handle,” Kelly told me.

“I know, but I don’t know what to do,” I explained.

“Luke, would you listen to me for once in your life?” Kelly questioned me, “I’m going to help you!”