My Love will Never Die..

Regression.

It was as if  Daniel wore a bell for an ill timed interruption, he walked up from his desk towards Lucifer.

"Why are you here man? " Dan scowled, his tone harder than necessary and without a concrete thought Lucifer could feel the wince his body did.  Dan's mouth pressed into a thin line of grimace and he forged on "Look, Chloe doesn't want to work with you anymore.. Even I and Ella don't want to see you! So just get the hell out of here.. "

It felt like a physical blow square on his face, sending him tumbling back. No. Why was he reacting like this? It wasn't something new, was it? It was a theme of his life and he should just get used to that, right? Yet.. And yet..

"What, no funny quip to that? I think you have understand yourself that you are a wrecking ball Lucifer, everything you touch you ruin Man! Didn't even spare Chloe! Real classy man" Daniel hissed the last words like a venom and whatever answer Lucifer had on his tongue died there.

Silence stretched as both of them got lost in their own bubble of thought - Lucifer weighing the truth and Dan stunned with his own words.

Lucifer just kept staring at the floor, almost punching a hole on it with the intensity of his gaze. Dan was right, he knew that. He was a poison, a very toxic one and he deserved to be alone. Emotional intimacy was not his thing and he knew better than to damn anyone to a life where he was a part..

The numbness enveloped him again, increasing Manifold. He kept mummed for a minute and then shoved Dan without acknowledging and walked towards the Lieutenant's office.What could he possibly say? The words have struck him like physical blows knocking him out of his facade. But he won't fuss, he won't give Daniel the satisfaction. He refused to give into that urge of pain and rage...As soon as he handed the letter, he didn't stay for a minute.

Day 2:

Lucifer woke up emptier.

Almost out of an irrational instinction He checked his new phone for any messages, or calls. Maybe Chloe had changed her mind?
But all he got was the nothingness screaming at his face,laughing at his naivety.

What was he expecting? Mostly, why was he expecting?

He spent his rest of the day in Lux, drinking. Tons of it.

Day 3:

He threw an orgy. He needed to feel something. Anything! Maybe sex would do the work? Make him feel things?

Bodies. Kisses.. Nothing

Drugs. Alcohol. No feelings.

More bodies. More Sex.. Nada

More drugs, more alcohol and more sex..

No feelings.

Just a dull ache of emptiness and an irritating heart ache.

Day 4:

He cancelled his session with Linda. Orgies were a bad idea.. He thought passion would be a way to ignite his numbness into something more crystallised. He was wrong.

He  contemplated with whatever they desired, he was surrounded by a heap of beautiful bodies rubbing onto him giving him some kind of pleasure, yet he felt empty. Like a machine running on autopilot. He didn't come that night.

Much much later, when his thoughts became coherent enough for a judgement, a new wave of shame washed through him. His own deed felt like a betrayal.

The idea of any other person rather than her made him nauseous.

Maybe being alone, would help him provide clarity? Besides, he was alone.

So he installed a lock in his elevator. He would meet no one. No one else. Not even Maze. He stacked his bar with excessive and unnecessary alcohol bottles and ding, the outer world was cut out..