smoke | namgi

thirty-three

"let me see" he said, minji handed him both papers and sat next to him, a smile on her face.

on the drawing, it was a picture of him and her, on top there a messy letters that said, "love you appa!".

yoongi wanted to break down in that moment, his little girl was learning to write. she was growing up and the fact made yoongi want to cry every time, he appreciated how kind she was and her thought. tears brimmed in his eyes and his hand began shaking which made seokjin panic.

"yoongi?" seokjin said, the small boy looked up, "y-yeah?" he stuttered, he wanted to cry, "are you okay?" he asked, yoongi bit the inside of his mouth, "i just" he began crying, tears streamed down his cheeks. he hugged the girl and sniffled, "i-i'm so proud of you minji, appa loves you a l-lot" he cried, he was an absolute mess.

minji let out a small hum, "love you too appa, y-you're a very h-hard working" she said, seokjin's heart melted at the sight, they were so cute

"okay, i need to stop crying" yoongi sniffled, wiping his tears and pouting. he opened namjoon's letter.

-

hi yoongi!

you don't have to call me mr.kim, you can just call me namjoon! thanks for writing back! you're amazing!

i have a few questions for you!

1. how are you able to be an amazing parent?? minji is such a good girl and so smart, she's above prek
2. do you know when you'll be out the hospital? minji misses you so much
3. random one, what's your favorite food?
4. who's 'kookie' and 'jinnie'

you're an amazing parent yoongi! also, if 'jinnie' or 'kookie' take minji to a therapist, they might ask about how she's doing at school so here's my say:

minji is a smart and amazing student but has time focusing in general and trouble communicating with peers. from what i've seen, there's been a decrease in appetite and energy because of what happened. 'jinnie' and 'kookie' can add if they have anything more to add'

you're loved :)

signed, kim namjoon

-

"so about the child therapist" yoongi said, looking at seokjin, "yeah, the appointment is tomorrow at 1pm, it's just like an evaluation i guess, a little get to know her sort of thing" he shrugged, yoongi hummed, "well the teacher left a note here if you to take the behavior part of it" yoongi said, seokjin took a quick picture of it and nodded.

minji looked at both boys, child therapist? her little brain to make it make sense. therapist was a feelings doctor. was she the one going this time?

"what's a child therapist?" minji asked, playing her leggings that had paint on them from art class.

"so minji, you know how appa is going to a therapist who is a feeling doctor? you're going to one too" he said, minji hummed, she turned to face yoongi, is the"feeling doctor fun?" she asked, "i'm sure the doctor will have colors and toys for you to play with, if they don't, i'm sure jinnie can take you to the ice cream shop afterwards"

minji nodded, "very fun" she giggled, yoongi smiled and nodded, "i need you to try your best at the doctor, okay?" yoongi asked, she held minji's small hands as he talked, "mhm! will you try your best for the doctor too? i want you to be home soon!" minji said with a smile.

yoongi wanted to cry, "i'll try my best"

-

after seokjin and minji left, yoongi sat there with an emotionless face on display. he started to think of minji and only minji.

he remembered all the little milestones with her, he missed her giggles waking him up at the crack of dawn, even if it was exhausting. he missed making her food every morning and he missed doing every part of the day with her.

-

"you can do this!" yoongi chuckled, minji was about to take her first steps and yoongi had everything prepared. he had the camera, her toys, and some water for her. he was shaking from how he excited he was.

"appa!" she giggled, yoongi smiled and made grabby hands, "come to appa" he said, he grabbed the stuffed animal and showed it to the small girl.

she gasped and took two steps towards yoongi, yoongi jumped up, a huge smile on his face, "you did it!" he squealed, minji made grabby hands towards the boy, "appa!" she said, yoongi held her in his arms and kissed her forehead, "i'm right here, i love you so much"

"l-love!"

-

yoongi wished to relive that moment, he wished to be with minji again, his daughter.

he hated how seokjin and jungkook were pressured to care for her, he wanted the girl in his arms.

but at the same time, he knew he couldn't mentally do it. he knew he wasn't mentally capable of being a parent at the moment. he owned jungkook and seokjin so much that he didn't know how he would pay them back.

he went back to sleep, a temporary escape from the world and his thoughts.

-

stay safe and healthy! drink water and eat some food! sorry for any mistakes, i love you all! qotd: last thing you drank?