✓ MOONSHINE ─── 𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐁𝐘𝐍 𝐀𝐔

forty-nine

WARNING: mentions of suicidal thoughts

M O O N S H I N E

how am i not to want you
when i have been sad, anxious and angry all of my life.
and, quite literally, offhand, at once.
you kiss it all away?

liked by seaveydaniel and 32k others

corbynbesson: boyfriend appreciation post ahead :)
hi bubba :) thank you for saving my life, literally. not just now - but also back the first time when we met. you don't remember much of it, but i remember every single word we exchanged that night, every little touch. and the little flutter in my heart - that night, as i stepped onto that roof i wasn't attended on coming down again - at least not while i was still breathing. i've never told that to anyone, never mentioned the fact that i actually had a point in my life where the only option seemed to be to just.. not breathe anymore.

you saved me. you didn't know, but you saved me that night. that little flutter you caused in my heart? that saved me. it showed me that i wasn't completely gone, that the parts of me that i had thought i had lost - they were still there. not as prominent as they had been before, but they were there. already back then i knew you were my soulmate - that no one would ever make me feel the way you did - the way you do. funny, that i found my saving in the broken. perhaps, that's why i fell in love the moment i saw you - because i saw myself in your eyes - you looked at me with the eyes i'd always see whenever i looked in the mirror - your eyes mirrored my soul in a way nothing had ever done before.

and then i thought that i lost you, and perhaps that was my mistake. i was the one who left you that morning. i lied - i didn't have a test, not an important one at least. the feelings you had caused in me you scared me, i had been numb for so long, and suddenly i had looked i got the eyes of a broken boy and felt something - it terrified me more than death itself. but instead of jumping, i crawled down - with a newfound hope and a promise that no matter what i'd find you again, and when i did i'd never let you go.

thank you for loving me, daniel james seavey.

x yours forever, corbyn matthew besson.

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"you saved me too, you know? both that night and now - i don't remember much for my that night, but i know that i was unstable and drunk. i might as well have jumped if you hadn't showed up. i've spent years hating myself for her death - you taught me to love myself, you taught me that i was worth it. i love you so much more than words could ever explain," daniel said softly with tears in his eyes as he read the caption on corbyn's post yet another time.

how was it even possible to love someone as much as he did? - as they did? fuck. the universe had never been as bright as it was that night.

authors note !
i'm sorry, for not updating. my mental health has been fucked lately, and i've had a hard time even just leaving my bed, so my motivation has been completely gone - and on top that i'm just not into why don't we anymore in the slightest, which makes this whole fic just a bit weird for me to write.

so i'm quite happy that there's only one chapter left - i hope to be able to write it soon. but with my current mood i'm not that sure. thank you for being patient with me. i love you all endlessly, thank you for you're never ending support - i appreciate it so much more than i can explain to you guys. x

if you're struggling please reach out - i know it can be scary, but i promise there's someone out there willing to help you. you deserve to be happy, thank you for sticking around. ❤️