Painless

Chapter Twenty-Three

I looked around to see if anyone else had heard what he’d just said to me, but we were alone, and the walls were soundproof. It was probably better that way anyway, because I was feeling pretty foolish about his sudden flare-up. The last time I’d been scolded like a child was when…well, when I was a child.

Time for me to show him I’d grown up.

“Selfish? Who do you think I’m doing all of this for? Risking my life to come and save some kids who were written off months ago? For free and during my summer vacation I might add,” I said sharply, although I felt the steam going out of my sails as I argued with him. Even I knew that what I was saying sounded ridiculous, but how dare he accuse me of being selfish.

“Yes, that’s all very admirable, but what about the fact that you’ve dragged your friend into this when he’s totally unprepared for this type of danger? Or how about encouraging him to get wasted because that’s the only way you know how to deal with things. Not everyone is so dead-set on being alone, you know. Do you really think that was the best thing for him?”

“Well, he wasn’t exactly complaining about it,” I mumbled.

“That’s because he was too busy fighting for his life after being blown up!” Carson said, still angry. “And how about the fact that you refuse to let anyone help you. We’re both here because of you and you won’t even let us do anything. You need us, Bliss. That’s the only way you’re going to get your friends home safely. Dr. Jackson was right about that. You’re not enough to bring him down on your own.”

I was so used to being on my own, running my own cases, flying solo, that the concept of utilizing Carson and Benji hadn’t even occurred to me. Truth be told, I’d learned a long time ago that other people just slowed you down.

But now I had this guy in front of me insisting that this wasn’t true.

“And if I trust you, if I let you help,” I said, nearly choking on the words, “we’re just magically going to be able to get Joanie and Glenn out of this unharmed? And Benji, too, because he’s locked up across the way, you know? How do I know you’re not just going to get in the way?”

“You don’t,” he answered with a sigh. He was through fighting now, too. “And chances are, at some point we will get in the way. But at the right moment, when it counts, it will be the three of us who make this happen.”

I snorted. “Is this your version of a superhero pep talk?” I joked.

“No, but now that you mention it, most superheroes have sidekicks, people they count on to help them win their fights. Batman had Robin, Buffy had her Scooby gang, Veronica had Wallace and her dad. None of them could’ve saved the universe time and time again without their friends. Let us help you.”

I remained silent as he finished. I wasn’t sure whether I was annoyed with him for what he was saying or for the fact that he might be right. Until I decided which it was, I chose to stall and turned to check on Benji instead.

Still asleep.

By now he’d flipped over onto his back and I could see his mouth hanging open. I bet he was drooling a bit down the side of his mouth and making a wet spot on his pillow, dreaming about rainbows and unicorns, with absolutely no idea that any of this was going on around him. The guilt I’d felt when he’d been hurt by the explosion came back full-force and hit me again.

How could I have let this happen?

Carson was right. It was highly possible that I would get everyone killed tonight. I turned back to him, not yet ready to admit it. But I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he already knew.