✵ ❦𝕲𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝕷𝖔𝖓𝖌 ❦ Gouenji Shuuya X Reader

8_ ❖ I need to let go....❖

Gouenji POV : (ten years ago)

She left, they took her away without telling any of us. My father couldn't reach her parents neither could Kazemaru, I used to call her from the phone in her house but now they're not there anymore ...I have nothing left of her except for her favorite plushie. I used to always get jealous of that rabbit because she would hug it more than me, she left the 'promise necklace' I gave her after we start dating. I have mine always hanged around my neck but her's is here, Aki said it falls from her during the accident but she forgot to give it back to her since we left for the tournament.

Yuuka is blaming herself everyday, she didn't get out to play with her friends ever since that day, we tried with her, we ever took her toa psychologist but he couldn't bring her to her old self back, no progress was made and eventually she closed on herself totally. Endou and the others tried to encourage me saying Y/N is gonna be back soon but deep inside non of us was sure of that.

As for me, well I wasn't doing well, I stopped playing soccer after we win the world cup, never went to practice or even held a ball in my hands. Highschool years went with nothing special, It almost felt like a prison but also as an escape, all I did was studying all the time, I couldn't get myself to move on from her, I waited everyday for a call or even a text from her or her parents but nothing... nothing at all, I won't lie but thoughts of her leaving this world crossed my mind multiple times but all I did was hope for the best.

Her bestfriend was Natsumi, she did her best to try reaching out for Y/N but she said it was all useless. my father said maybe she's in a special hospital where they can't give informations about their patients but what was odd enough was her parents behavior, they cut themselves totally from japan, not a single call to Y/N's friends nor their family here.

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Highschool is now over and I miss you so much Y/N, more than anything... I just want to know you're ok ... alive and maybe I'm selfish but I want to hug you tight and kiss your rosy cheeks like I always did when I come back from practice.

I'm now eighteen and totally independent, I live on my own but I visit dad and Yuuka even now and then, Yuuka became a bit better thanks to her friends, she wants to see Y/N again... It was her wish in every birthday and everytime she sees a shooting, star but it never came true, actually I had something in mind.

I started looking for her myself, I took a flight to Switzerland and as soon as I arrived, I started asking every single hospital in the big cities about a patient called L/N Y/N but nothing so far. maybe she didn't want to come back and has already start a new life here with someone else or even .. no I don't want to bring dark thoughts again.

As I made to the hospital in one of the cities I had to check in, the nurse at the reception is searching in the computer and I'm waiting for any sort of information that might help me find her. As I was patiently waiting my mind drifted toour old memories together when we used to play soccer together at the riverbank and holding tight to both of our promise bracelets, I heard a girl speaking japanese with another person, curiously I glanced behind me to feel my heart drop at the sight.

A girl with a long blonde hair was dragging a young female that looks exactly like Y/N inside the hospital, I couldn't help but to look at them and listen to their conversation, could it be her? " so you're saying now that you're able to, you can officially adopted me and Lisa? " The girl asked, adopt ? Who is she and who is Lisa? " Yeah, it's gonna be hard but with the recommendation I got from the social worker and the help of my parents and soon your grandparents it will become true" the female I believe was Y/N said.

A few steps away from where I was standing both of them stopped to check in from the nurse I was waiting for to give me the informations I asked for. Y/N is waiting behind me holding hands with the girl and I'm looking at her! God damnit I'm starting at her but she's not looking beck at me. the girl with her lifted her head to see me staring at Y/N, she tugged Y/N's sleeves and pointed at me, now she's looking at me with the same eyes I always admired, it's really her.

"Y-N/N..." Before I could finish saying her name she interrupt me " I'm sorry sir if you could step aside so I call talk to the nurse over there" she said in english pointing behind me, I didn't respond or make a slight move and that made her a bit uncomfortable, she doesn't recognize me ? I mean my hair is a bit longer but that... "It's me Shuuta" I said stepping closer to her and she stepped back?! . She doesn't recognize the nickname she gave me?.

"I'm sorry sir but I don't know anyone with that... name, you must've been confused" she said putting her hand between us and pulling the girl behind her, is she scared? Of me ? . " Oh there you are L/N I see you brought Emilia with you today, are you ready for your check up?. Is everything alright? " A woman with a doctor's uniform came and talked to Y/N, I was left there staring like an idiot till they left " excuse me sir the patient you're asking for? " The nurse behind me said bringing me back to reality " ah-h y-ses " I said trying to cover my shock " she's indeed the female you've been talking to, L/N Y/N was awake from a coma three years ago and lost her memories" what ? She lost her memories? Is that why ..."

"She have an appointment to check her condition after meeting an acquaintance of hers, apparently the meeting was sensitive and shocking and that caused her to lose conscious in the middle of the street" the nurse said with a hint of sympathy, Y/n doesn't remember me or anyone, that's why she never came back, if I talked to her or forced her to remember it could trouble her state?.... Oh god what should I do?.

I leaned into the reception table rubbing my forehead, tears falling down my eyes to the floor " sir ? Do you want me to explain the situation to her? She might rem- " I cut her short" who is that girl with her?..." I asked " that's Emilia, she and her older sister lost their partners in a car accident a bit over three years ago , L/N took care of her and Lisa who is unconscious and decided to adopt them" she answered, that's do much like her, she would always insist on help people who lost their beloved ones, like me and Yuuka. She have a big heart, but what about me?

She forgot me, she has a life here... A happy one and I don't want to hurt her " sir , should I speak to her- " " no thank you, I will do it myself" I lied " please don't tell her I came , thanks for your time " I said and left the desk with her worried face mumbling' you're welcome' .

I need to forget you N/N, I can't handle knowing you're there, alive but can't remember who I am, it hurts too much... The words you said like I'm a total stranger and you want to stay away from me. I need to let you go, just... I need to forget about us but I don't think I can, I need to but I don't want to...

I might consider the offer of that man , fifth sector... an organization that protects soccer and where everyone is equal, that might be interesting

I left the airport back to japan, I have nothing here, she doesn't know who I am, she's no longer mine...

"I'll leave you here N/N hopefully one day you'll come to search for me ... Please..."

꧁☆𝕰𝖓𝖉 𝕺𝖋 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗☆꧂