Haven't I given enough? Given enough.

4

No more Spiderman, nothing. No more anything. I'd be gone.

Is that what I want? I mean, Peter why give up now? Why, after all the pain and suffering you put yourself through would you give up now? You can break through the trauma Peter I know you ca- !

No, I'm done. I'm done.

I step closer to the edge of the Skyline Tower, the tops of my shoes reaching the very brim of the skyscraper.

It would be so quick.

I took a deep breath and held my hands in front of my face. They aren't uncontrollably shaking, in fact none of me is. Why am I not scared? I want to be scared, I want to feel something!

"I want to be scared!" I shouted, edging closer to the brim. "I want to feel something, I want to feel! Let me be scared!" Tears don't stream my face, hands don't shake. I'm not dizzy.

I'm not scared, not of this. But why? In a few seconds I could be dead! Let me be scared, Peter be scared!

"Let me feel something!" I shouted again, "Please..." My voice cracked, I know I'm ill. I know that I'm unwell in the head, that no normal teenager would feel this way. But a symptom of depression is not not being scared. But being lost... I don't know, maybe?

"Let me be scared, let me be scared, let me be scared..." I repeated the words as I stood at the very edge of the tower, looking down at the quiet city below me. Lights reaching my eyes, begging for me to fall into them.

It would be so quick.

Fuck, being scared is overrated anyways.

I shut my eyes, reach out my arms beside me and let myself fall. My back falling first, arms reaching in front of me. The air pressure hitting my spine, I could feel the air through the gaps between my fingers.

They say, when you fall. You re-live all of your favourite memories. I think of May, her blueberry pancakes and homemade lasagna. I think of Tony Stark, how he always had my back. I think of Ned, of Mj.

This was a mistake, I don't want to die. To feel the pressure attack my senses, my mind spiralled as regret filled its consciousness. As I fall i look to my hand, staring at it the same way as I did earlier, tilting my head as I fall to look at the creases in my palm. But this time, instead of worrying about the fact I'm not scared, I think of the imprints people have made with me.

When Ben held onto my hand, in his last moments. When Aunt May was grieving and held onto it in the exact same way.
These imprints are soon to be lost, but thats the choice I made right?

I re-close my eyes and accept the fact that I'm gone, I try to enjoy it. Enjoy the winds rushing through my hair, or the cold breeze travelling up my clothing.

I let go of myself, and just let myself fall.

"I've got ya kid."

~(where Chapter 1 ended)~

Just let me die, Mr Stark please. Let me die, let me die.

"Kid? Kid you with me still?" Tony settled me on the roof of the building.

"Mr Stark, please just-" I sighed and sat up against the building, staring up at the sky. Stars littering the abis above me. "Leave me alone Tony." I begged, hugging my knees and resting my head on my kneecaps.

"I'm not going anywhere kid, and you have to explain to me what exactly you where doing. Underoos you could have died!" He shouted, pointing down at the street below us. "Imagine those poor people at home having to rub bits of your ass off their clothing! That's just nasty Peter." He joked.

I know he was trying to lighten the conversation. But I just needed him to go away. Keeping me alive wasn't his choice to make, I just need to leave this stupid planet.

"Missed tests, deadlines, assignments - got up late, I stopped brushing hair and teeth altogether... didn't even get out of bed for days! And not a single ping on my mobile to ask if I were okay. Do you know how that feels Mr Stark?" I questioned.

"No kid, I don't-"

"Exactly. Mr Stark I've done all I need to do! I went to prom with this really cute girl," My voice strained and quietened because of the awkward sentence- "I've built legos with Ned, 1000 pieces! I got a churro from this lady not yesterday. I'm done, I truly am Mr Stark. And this isn't just a stupid teenager thing!" I shout, loosing my temper, knowing I sound crazy.

Tony exhaled and looked up at the sky.

"Pick a star underoos." Tony sighed.

"Pick a star?"

"Pick a star..."

And then I let it fully out, I landed on my knees and sobbed. Crying into the night sky, following the different patterns of the stars, with their lights screaming at me. Tony came and sat next to me, hugging my head and landing it in his chest. I face the blue light, wondering how he was so strong. He's IronMan, I could never be like that. I'm a mistake.

"I'm sorry I wasn't better kid... I truly am." He says, running his hand through my hair and laying on his back on the roof with me just besides him.