Dedicated to Numbsmile
Ryaen 2010,
I watch Crain walk up to me and stand at the start of the staircase leading to our doorstep... he's wearing a huge smile on his face which causes a deep impression on his right cheek its very adorable. I can tell he's anxious but he hides in pretence so my father who is quietly observing us in his rocking chair doesn't see it.
Crain starts up the stairs elegantly, his father must be a shrewd because noone in our school gets close to beating Crain's upright posture and elegance. Once he's a breathe away from me, he holds my right hand and places it on his softly pursing it with his left while he stares into my eyes.Eye contact with this man isn't always the easiest for me, it never will.
"You're so beautiful..." he whispers so softly.
My excitement fails me and I look at my feet then back up at him nervously biting on my lower lip.
"Boy, why do you make me so nervous?"
He locks his hand in mine and greets my father politely who responds calmly.
"Be careful you two. You can go now," he says and we nod as we head down the stairs and into my father's car which he lets us use for the night.
It's our first official date night sponsored by my father and I've never been happier than I am tonight.
I can sense the excitement coming off from Crain as he holds on to my hand tight. He places his right hand on his thigh and taps on it anxiously.To give him assurance I place my other free hand on top of his and give it a tight squeeze.Well,that should do it because his pulse slows down from the rush it was making against his skin.
Looking over at me he smiles and leans in so close, nose against nose his hot breath brushing past my lips, its an intense moment as we look into each other's eyes.
"Ryaen...you spectacular piece of shit..." he says in half whisper and purses his lips against mine before we fall into a deep passionate kiss in the backseat.
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There's something about Crain and the way he walks and talks... the way he flips his pen between his index finger and the middle one... the way he bites on the lid of his black ink pen while he watches me and then looks back at the blank page before him and so much more that I can't get over.There's just so much I can't finish talking about right now.
Oh here he comes, walking with great elegance. Typical Crain. Upto this point, I haven't laid a hand on his book yet, I never have and I wasn't sure why. That thought just crossed my mind as my eyes land on his brown covered book which he holds firmly with his right hand placing it on his chest with the rest of his books on his left.It's very dear to him... more so the words.
It has more pages written on it than the blank ones yet it looked so new and clean. If I hadn't known Crain as I did then for the past... im not sure how many years ... then I wouldn't have pegged him as the kind to scribble rhymes with every chance he got.
No...certainly not the type of man anyone would expect Crain to be. Looks can indeed be deceiving and Crain is an epitome of that statement.
I stirred at my cocoa lightly and pasted a smile on my elfin face as I watched his approaching figure.Surely, I'm always ever delighted by his presence.He smiled briefly then quietly took the seat opposite me. I took keen interest on how he neatly laid his work down on the table so he could start on it.
"What's that ?" I asked watching him behind my steaming cup of hot cocoa.
"Uuh...my Geography assignment," he responded tapping lightly on the open page with the tip of his pen.
"No... im asking about this brown book..." I said pointing towards it.
I watched the cheeky grin playing at the edge of his lips as he traced the cover of his book which I could tell was quite precious to him.He looked proud of whatever lay in there as he flipped a page and another.
"Oh this... well let's call it..."
"No Crain we can't call it...," I said trying to hold my giggle back," what do you call it? What exactly is it to you?"
"Its the masterpiece that holds your splendid work of art...right? Your marvelous poems that I crave to hear you read out loud to me even though you withhold access of them to me.Surprise me ...I grant you permission this minute... Surprise me with your enthralling classical pieces Crain...bedazzle me my love..."
His lips drew into a classic smirk as he watched me sip silently on my hot cocoa after I was done declaring his book as a masterpiece. Crain sat back quietly into his chair and flipped the pen in between his fingers rhythmically,squinting his eyes looking as if he'd delved deeply into thought.
"Tell me Crain, are you proud of the masterpiece you've created or you just love to guard it because of the opposite?" I asked quite boldly as I leaned into the table.
"Okay Ryaen, you're coming off a bit challenging this morning and you seem to be enjoying it," he said with a corky smile almost as if the statement was in his defense.
He held up his book with a modern french cover and an ordinary brown layout, nothing you would really be attracted to. It's inside had yellow captivating pages mostly scribbled on, exploding with what I'd assume to be awe-inspiring phrases. I watched him carefully decide what page would suit the moment.
I closed my eyes, held onto my cup and let its heat reverberate through my palm and into my body. I waited for Crain's voice to clear through the silence that had been going on between us in that short moment.
I heard him flip through a couple of pages before he finally settled on one,seemingly suited to break the silence,I hoped.
His deep voice broke through crisply as he started...
Tell me the secret behind your smile
so that in my worst night
I'm the best man
Show me the secret behind your glow
So that in my darkest moments
I'm the light to my own path
Tell me the secret behind your joy
And I'll adorn myself with it in my
unhappy times
Tell me the secret behind your faith so that through the storm
I'll be holding on
Tell me the secret behind your love so that through the hate
I'll find my way back.
I listened intently as he read through in a silvery smoky voice so slow it made the poem mysterious. The calmness in his tone was the light of the moment and everything glorious.However,I caught a tone of emotion in his voice as he read the last two lines which made him sound close to brittle.
