youth ❀ karlnap

they look so good, dont they?

cw: not much, i believe just some sad thoughts around religion and death. please tell me if there's anything else i need to warn about this or other chapters :]

on another note it's crazy how much traction this story is getting and i am forever grateful! thank you all for reading so much, it means the world to me.

here's an extra long, twice-as-much-as-usual chapter. hope you love it :]

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Life in Sapnap's embrace became the new normal.

At school they'd cuddle at the lunch table and be inseparable during gym class, practically glued to the side whenever they ran and played games. Sapnap reassured Karl and helped him feel better on his dysphoric days, and they'd walk into the lunch line hand-in-hand just to buy Karl a cookie.

It was October. The leaves were turning shades of burning red and brown, and the temperature was starting to drop more and more. Karl happily anticipated the next holiday, which was one of the most exciting ones in the world to him; Halloween.

His mother had weird feelings about Halloween. There was no way that he could ever dress up as something magical or scary until he was no longer under her roof. He didn't mind going as something cute instead; maybe he could be a fuzzy bear or a bat. He didn't really know exactly what he wanted to be, though. He was probably going to just check out the Halloween aisle of the store when he went with his mom and pick out whatever was available.

He had time, though. It was still just the tenth. It was another normal day, shifting through classes, sitting down at the lunch table with his big group of friends. Wilbur had his nose between the pages of a book, Quackity was hogging the conversation but in the best way that everyone preferred because he was just that funny, George's head was resting gently on Dream's shoulder, and Karl was cuddled up against the boy that was made for him. He gazed up at him with hooded eyes, occasionally reaching to cup his jaw and press kisses against his cheek. Okay, even though they had been dating for a month, they hadn't exactly kissed on the lips yet. They'd talk about it every once in a while, but they weren't in a rush, and decided that they would once the time was perfect and they were both completely ready. Karl adored that. Sure, he was an affectionate person, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little nervous about kissing. It wasn't something he'd ever done before, or really knew how. He couldn't really be taught it unless it happened, which was a little nerve-wracking, to be honest.

So they were taking their time, and it was nice. Karl felt respected and treasured way more than anyone else could possibly make him feel. He thought about the way men tended to escalate things at a rapid pace, unbeknownst to the other's acknowledgement. They'd poke at boundaries or act weird until the gates were let open, and they'd tear them down entirely just to get what they wanted.

Sapnap was different. Karl knew Sapnap wasn't in a relationship with him for personal gain. He didn't pressure him about anything; not kissing, not pictures of him, nothing. It was sad that he had to worry about this when getting into a relationship but it was nonexistent around Sapnap. He didn't have any expectations like that, he was just happy enough to be with him even if it only meant they'd hold hands at the table and call each other their boyfriends verbally. They still shared each other their deepest secrets as they cradled their phones to their chests in their beds late at night. It all just came naturally to Karl, the way he felt about Sapnap. Society's expectations of a relationship just seemed to ebb away when they were in the presence of each other.

No matter what they did with it anyway, they were going to be faced with scrutiny. They were both transgender. They were both boys. They cuddled too much for homophobic people to handle, but at the same time they didn't kiss enough or act raunchy enough to be valid.