Flawed Minds

Chapter Fourteen

Nova's P.O.V

I spent the next couple of days worried about the team, nervous about their safety no matter how many times Bruce had tried to reassure me that they were fine. I was starting to feel that I had really begun to fit in, I felt comfortable with them and they truly wanted to help me better myself. I felt grateful that they seemed to really trust me, too; Tony was obviously comfortable leaving me to wander around the tower without having Bruce follow me around like a babysitter anymore, and Bucky seemed to be able to walk through the same room as me, although he would never speak- but I considered that progress, too.

I took a walk outside, watching the birds as they flew through the sky freely, enjoying the breeze against my skin. I noticed I was fiddling with the necklace Loki had gifted me, and I allowed myself to think about him for the first time in a while- I couldn't ignore the green eyes that were constantly in the back of my mind; They grew brighter whenever I felt overwhelmed and it was like my mind was made suddenly clear. I was thankful for it, but I didn't really know what it meant. The note that Loki had left me came to mind; 'If ever you need my help, you need only call for Heimdall'. I stopped in my tracks then and considered those words. I didn't really need help now, but I was curious- surely it wouldn't hurt to see what happens if I did, right? I found myself looking to the sky, my fingers hovering over the emerald necklace as I took a breath.

"Hey Nova! There you are," I blinked a few times and looked around for the voice, to see Bruce walking toward me. "I was wondering where you'd gotten to, I wanted to perform a few tests in the lab if that's ok?" I cleared my throat and smiled, thinking maybe I'll return to that train of thought later.

"Of course- Lead the way!" After hours of helping Bruce with his research on, well, me, I was getting restless and I couldn't ignore the idea that had been forming in my head any longer. The moment I noticed that he was napping peacefully on a chair, paperwork strewn everywhere, I silently slipped out of the room and immediately headed down a corridor, on a mission of my own. I had memorized the routes through the building everywhere I had been and I never once got lost, which made finding things really easy. It seemed as though Loki unlocking my memories had improved my memory as well. It didn't take me long to reach the floor that contained a communication center. My heart beat fast as I entered the room and closed the door behind me, adrenaline running high even though I wasn't doing anything I shouldn't- Tony technically only told me not to touch anything IN his lab, he didn't say anything about everywhere else in the building...

"Hey, FRIDAY?" I asked quietly. "Could you connect me to Director Fury, please?" There was silence for a moment.

"Of course, Miss Nova." Came her response, and I waited patiently in the small room until the screen lit up, revealing Fury standing there, paperwork in hand.

"Hello Miss Nova," He greeted me. "I must admit I wasn't expecting a call from you, nor do I know how you managed it- but how can I help?" I cleared my throat.

"Hello sir, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm aware that this is probably unusual but I have a request?" I began, my nerves getting to me as he listened. "I know you have been receiving updates about my abilities and training for a while now, and I hope that you'd agree with me because I think I'm ready to join the team for an actual mission, even just a small one-" Before I could say another word, Fury interrupted me.

"I'm afraid that simply won't be possible, Miss Nova." Came his blunt reply. I was confused, shocked at his abruptness and certainty.

"But, Director Fury, I've been training with the Avengers, and I have full control over my electrical powers, I know what-"

"I don't doubt that," He interrupted, his one eye glaring at me through the screen. "But my answer is still no. You may have shown us some of your powers, and you've managed to get on the good side of almost every member of the team in this building, but for all I know? You could still be a Hydra spy."

"But sir! I ESCAPED Hydra, I've been helping the team- how could I be a spy?" I exclaimed, incredulous, and he sighed.

"You still have a lot to learn, Nova. For now you are to stay in this building, we'll talk again about this in the future." Before I had a chance to say anything else, the call disconnected and I was left alone in the darkened room, stunned into silence for a minute. I was upset- no... I was angry. I had been through so much and had worked so hard to learn and to gain their trust, only to be waved off and called a spy?? I spun around and left the communications room, slamming the door shut behind me, not caring about sneaking around anymore. Fury's words had truly gotten to me- I was usually much calmer in these situations and yet here I was just about ready to break something, electricity crackling at my fingertips. The noise I made must have caught Bucky's attention, because while I was fuming to myself, pacing up and down a corridor, I suddenly caught a glimpse of his metal arm. I only took a few seconds to make the decision to run after him for once, thinking I might finally get him to talk.

"Bucky! Wait, I wanted to talk to you, I- Hey!" He continued to storm off without even looking at me, and after already being furious that day, being avoided like the plague struck a nerve and I got even angrier.

"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES," I raised my voice, causing him to freeze in place in shock. "Stop running away, you have to face these problems sometime, you can't be a coward!" My voice echoed strangely down the corridor. Something snapped in my mind and the strangest sensation came over me; When Bucky turned around, I saw an instant change in him, too. Faster than I could even react, I was slammed against the wall, his metal hand tight around my throat and his expression showing nothing but anger. For a moment we stayed like that, me unable to breathe and unable to touch the ground with my feet, and him just glaring at me, his dark eyes showing no other emotion. My anger quickly turned to panic, and as I began to struggle against his hand, I suddenly saw what could only be my own fear reflected back at me in Bucky's eyes. He let me go, staggering backwards a few paces as the realization of his actions hit him.

"I- I'm sorry, I don't know what happened I-" He stuttered, his pained expression at having lost control would haunt me forever.

"No no," I wheezed, massaging my throat and struggling to talk again. "It's not your fault, I shouldn't have yelled at you, I shouldn't have been so harsh" I took a few deep breaths, wondering how on earth I had managed to manipulate his emotions that way. "I'm not sure what I did but I am almost certain that it was my fault entirely." I looked at him sincerely but he didn't seem convinced.

"I can't do anything without hurting someone or scaring them to death," He muttered darkly, almost as though he was utterly disgusted with himself. "I'm sorry. You're better off not talking to me." He turned to walk away, but I refused to let him go back to hiding away thinking that he's a monster. I reached out and grabbed the wrist of his metal arm, causing him to look back at me in surprise.

"No- that is not gonna happen." He looked confused as I moved so that our palms were touching and entwined our fingers, tightly squeezing his cold metal hand. "I have been hurt a lot worse than that, Bucky Barnes. That was an accident, and I promise you that I am not scared of you, and you do not need to hide yourself away beating yourself up about things that were out of your control." I looked him in the eyes the whole time, trying hard to make sure he believed me, and I could tell he was conflicted. I was exhausted, not used to outbursts of emotion like this. I raised our entwined hands a little higher. "You see this? This isn't really a pinky promise I suppose- it's a 'Bucky promise'. I promise you that I meant every word, and that I'm here for you whenever you need me, and you promise me that you're gonna try to stop blaming yourself for things you had no control over, okay?"

Bucky stayed silent, almost as though he couldn't speak; he still had that pained expression on his face and I found myself feeling guilty, wishing I had never caused him even more hurt, wishing I could somehow make things better. He eventually nodded in answer to my promise, and that was enough for me.