incomplete ; rawoong

𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎

if I had a time machine i would take it
and make it back to us
— believed; lauv

· · ─────── · ⋆ · ─────── · ·

Hwanwoong and Youngjo were so in love, their relationship beautiful.

Over a limited period of time, they were only friends, though they quickly realized that they felt more towards each other and that their feelings were more profound and genuine; different.
Youngjo had always let himself grow mesmerized by Hwanwoong's existence, letting his gaze pause a nullity too long on his attractive features while cherishing an - to outsiders indecipherable - interest in anything the younger uttered.

Youngjo felt a delighted warmth whenever he remembered the day they finally got together, letting the memories replay in his mind just as though he had them locked away in the form of a film reel. Looking back, it wasn't even romantic, spectacular to no extend, and it seemed as if it had been so effortless and simple to express these overwhelming thoughts and emotions that he had kept hidden for so long.

What was once meant to be the mere preparation of a surprise party for their mutual friend Keonhee, degenerated into the two-sided spilling of various ingredients over each other, which were initially designed for the cake that they had resolved to prepare, and resulted in confessing their feelings for each other.
Youngjo was convinced that his heart would burst at any moment, that his rips would break upon the violent palpitation of his heart, as Hwanwoong's bright laughter continued to resonate through his apartment for the next couple of minutes, and not even while cleaning up the caused mess did the glistering sparkle choose to leave his irises. It drove him insane – this sparkle. Hwanwoong -, the butterflies in his stomach, consistent companions ever since he had fallen in love with the younger, clapping their wings more ecstatically than normal, his basis of decision-making seemed to have lost its hold; and he kissed Hwanwoong.
Youngjo spread another white tint on the younger one's already flour stained apron, as he let the palm of his hand run over Hwanwoong's slim waist and pressed his lips against Hwanwoong's rosy ones.
Their kiss carried a nuance of flour, sugar and colourant – now, Youngjo had the sensible evidence that Hwanwoong ate more of the sugar pearls than actually decorating the cake's top with them -, and even so, the peculiarity of nettles and cherries that Youngjo would recognize anywhere prevailed.
Hwanwoong hastily kissed back and fiddled with his hands slightly lost before finding a convenient place for them on Youngjo's chest – the older one's rapidly beating heart perfectly complemented the electric pulses that ran through Hwanwoong's fingertips.

They parted from each other, yet endured in an approximated embrace, while whispering words of love to each other, returning their counterpart's desire and longing.
Strangely enough, Youngjo did not feel any nervousness or fear of rejection, not once when laying claim to Hwanwoong's lips out of an sudden Impulse. Somewhere along the line, it had felt almost easy to free his heart from the everlasting pressure of these unspoken feelings.
From then on, they lived a beautiful relationship that per se no one could observe without enviously going on their knees, and Keonhee professed from day one that it was due to his birth and existence alone that they could now happily and carelessly be together – in the end, the surprise party kept a pleasant piece of news for further than just the birthday boy in store.

As magical and harmonic as the memories might seem, Youngjo could neither deny nor ignore the piercing stiches in his heart.
His eyes glistened with tears and it required every bit of self-control of him not to lapse into self-pity and mourn after what had ran out half a year ago.

At that time, Youngjo had been able to notice and observe Hwanwoong trying to distance himself: his once regular visits in their favourite café the Music Hideout, whose owner was their friend Seoho, got rarer, solely Youngjo initiated any form of affection and physical contact – no initiative coming from the younger himself. With each new occasion that Youngjo tried to melt the ice between the two of them, Hwanwoong intentionally avoided his attempts of rapprochement, merely a wretched haze creeping its way into Hwanwoong's eyes, and it always seemed as if an apology wanted to escape his lips.
Youngjo didn't understand, he put the blame for Hwanwoong's demeanour on himself, and upbraided himself for truly not managing to figure out when Hwanwoong had first started to behave so oddly distant.
Likewise, he seemed not to be aware enough of his own comportment to detect a specific action, words or countenance that could have upset Hwanwoong to such an extent.