The Adventures of Babysitting with Ahsoka Tano (COMPLETE)

Part 21

The longer Rex looked around, the more places Ahsoka was not. After a few minutes of searching, he tracked her down to the commander's quarters. He knocked on the door a couple of times. "You in there?"

No verbal response came, but the door opened, and Ahsoka stood inside, not looking at him. Technically, Rex wasn't supposed to come in here, but if Ahsoka wasn't planning on coming out, then he had to talk to her somehow. "You've been hiding out for a while now."

"I've been trying to take care of my outfit," she explained, and Rex saw what Ahsoka was staring at. "Jesse's right: the longer this goes on, the better my cover needs to get. This is the best I can do right now."

'This' was spare Jedi robes, presumedly taken from the generals' quarters. Ahsoka had made a few adjustments to make them look a little more like they could be hers. The outfit was lying on her bunk, waiting to be put on.

"Will they notice the outfit change?"

"Probably, but I'm hoping I can explain it away through getting older," she pointed out. "It's more for the next regression anyway, not this one."

By now, Rex had noticed how steady her voice was. It was too steady, as though she was forcefully controlling it. Every inflection in her voice was calculated to hide something underneath. She spoke with agency and determination, which was rather strange when talking about one's outfit. "What's this really about?"

Ahsoka closed her eyes and breathed in, letting the facade drop just a little. "I shouldn't be doing this. Impersonating a Jedi..."

"Then why are you?"

"Because he asked me to," she answered. "I asked him whether I should tell him the truth after he forgets or if I should do this. This is easier."

Rex raised an eyebrow and set his helmet down. "It doesn't seem easier. For them, maybe, but not for you."

She laughed, but she was anything but joyful. "No, it is easy." Ahsoka shook her head, finally looking at Rex. "It's easy. Slipping back into old habits, pretending I've been here for the past year, acting like Anakin's student again, all of it is coming back. It's like I never left, it's like-" stopping herself, she said something different. "I don't have to pretend that I still agree with the Council. I'm even speaking against them, but Anakin didn't even flinch! Everything I believe as a civilian is the same, but he doesn't doubt the story, not once."

Looking down, Ahsoka crossed her arms. "It shouldn't be this easy."

"Why not?"

"Because I gave it up," she confessed, and Rex could hear the empty pit behind her words. "I gave this, all of this, up. Even the parts I loved. I let go of my right to this life."

"And you think that's the end of it?"

She hesitated, so stunned by the question that she looked at Rex. He went on. "Just because the Council doesn't call you a Jedi, that's the final word?"

"It's not that simple-"

"No, it's not," he agreed. "Changing what they call you doesn't change what you are."

Ahsoka was speechless. Rex couldn't read her face, and he didn't try to. "Every single person on this ship thinks of you as a Jedi. I don't have to go asking around to know. The things you've done, the things that we've seen you do, they don't get erased when the Order cuts you off. You've come too far for that."

"What if I change what I am?"

"You didn't change that much. Skywalker certainly doesn't think so if what you said is true."