A Glimpse Of Yesterday (Resilient Girls Series #1)

Prologue

What's the essence of being a woman?

The typical answer for this question is by giving birth. They also claimed that being yourself or authentic is the essence of being a woman. Few stated that the real essence is having an ability to inspire and empower. Some also argued that knowing what you want and embracing your goals is the actual core of being a woman.

They might be right but they might also be wrong. We had our own opinions and answers regarding this matter. But if you were going to ask me, I would say that the essence of being a woman should not be limited to being a mother.

Before, I was a firm believer that the only purpose of a woman in this world was to bear a child not until I realized that not every woman was meant to be a mother.

Despite their best efforts, some women were unable to conceive owing to infertility problems. Tragically, several women lost their babies due to miscarriage. While others chose not to have kids simply because they just wanted to achieve their goals and live life to the fullest.

Did it make them less of a woman?

NO.

It didn't make them less because the ability to give birth did not define them as a woman.

Napapikit ako sa sakit. Nararamdaman ko ang mga pawis na tumutulo sa noo hanggang sa may mukha ko. I couldn't able to think properly due to severe pain. I closed my eyes as I tried my best to calm myself. Huminga ako nang malalim bago sinubukan ulit na umiri.

May mga naririnig ako nagsasalita sa paligid ngunit dahil sa sobrang pagod at dahil na rin sa sakit na nararamdaman, wala na ako nagawa kung hindi pumikit hanggang sa tuluyan na akong mawalan ng ulirat.

I had been dreaming of becoming a mother since then. I liked babies. I found them cute. I wanted to hug them, kiss them, and take care of them. I grew up longing for mother's love. Maybe that was also the reason why I wanted to become one. I wanted to have kids to let them experience the things I didn't experience back when I was a child.

***

Napa-buntong hininga na lang ako nang makitang traffic na naman. Tumingin ako sa relo ko para tignan ang oras. Ilang minuto na lang labasan na nila Haliya. May ginagawa na naman atang daan kaya hindi na naman makausad ang mga sasakyan.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit kailangan pa nilang sirain ‘yong mga daang matino naman. Only in the Philippines. Sa halip tuloy na nasa school na ako, nandito ako ngayon sa gitna ng traffic.

I couldn't do anything but rolled my eyes out of annoyance. Naisip ko si Haliya. Alam ko naman na hindi siya papalabasin ng gate hanggang walang sundo pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasan na mag-alala. I sighed heavily.

Nagmadali akong nagmaneho pagkatapos ko makalagpas sa traffic. Halos 20 minutes din akong stuck doon. Pinark ko ang sasakyan at nagmadaling bumaba dahil siguradong inaantay na ako ni Haliya.

Pumunta ako kung saan naghihintay ng sundo ang mga pre-schooler. I roamed my eyes around to find her. I smiled when I saw a little girl with a half-ponytail sitting quietly in the corner while eating her sandwich. I walked towards her direction.

“Baby!”

She looked up when she heard my voice. I smiled more when I saw her pouting her lips while chewing her sandwich.

“You're late,” malambing niyang sabi habang may sadwich pa ang kabilang pisngi.

I sat beside her to caress her hair. She had a pair skin. I also noticed a small mole on her left temple.

Everytime I looked at her, I remembered something... No... I knew well to myself that it wasn't something.

It was someone... someone I shouldn't remember anymore. A glimpse of yesterday, that filled with our memories together, was trying to cross my mind everytime I looked at my daughter.