I Swear It: Herophine

Chapter 22

"He's a fucking idiot," is what comes out of my mouth though. It makes her laugh, which is nice and I remind myself that once she trust me I'll tell her everything.

"He is, but I'm not even mad at him anymore. I'm happy he did it, if he hadn't I would've married him, had babies with him, stayed in the ICU with him, and had to convince myself for the rest of my life I was living life for me and not for him. I was young, so young and naïve when we got together. I wanted his approval and tried to love it out of him. He loved it, loved that I needed him so much. Looking back we were toxic for each other, which is probably why I lost most of my friends from that time in my life, I was so consumed with him nothing else mattered. I promised myself I would never do that again. I'm not that girl anymore, but if I could I would go and hug her because fuck was she sad." She has on the brightest smile right now, which doesn't really match what she's saying, but my God is she the most beautiful thing in the world.

"How do you do it?" I can't help but ask.

"Do what?"

"Be perfect all the time, say the right thing all the time. I mean fuck, here you are, helping me watch my nephew even though I've done nothing but fuck up since I met you because you knew I needed you here. So how do you do it? Share the wealth because I obviously need it."

She laughs and looks away, because of course she does, of course she doesn't see herself the way she is, kind, loving, strong, independent, and beautiful.

"I'm so far from perfect it isn't even funny." I begin to object that she is the definition when she continues, looking at her hands as she does, "you're the first person I've been physical with since Dylan... I've gone on dates, I've kissed guys but every time it seems like they're going to start wanting more I leave, I just couldn't get myself there, mentally or physically. I just haven't craved that closeness with anyone."

"Until me." I state, willing her eyes to meet mine. I'm holding Josh so close to me to keep me from putting him in his car seat and wrapping Josephine up in my arms.

"Until you." She says, finally looking up and meeting my eyes. I'm not sure what I see in them, they have a shine to them, but no sadness.

"You're the first person I've wanted in a long time Josephine." I state as I watch her mouth fall slightly open. For the second time tonight my apartment falls quiet. Josh is passed out on my chest while football clips play quietly in the background but all I can focus on is her quiet breathing, sucking the air from the room.

This time, however, it is not Josh who interrupts the silence but my very drunk sister and her very amused husband.

"Oh my goodness my baby! Look Felix it's my baby! Our baby! Baby it's our baby!" Mercy flings herself over the back of the couch, landing half on Jo's lap.

"Yes love, that's our baby, let's get him ready to go home so we can get you to bed huh?" Felix says with a smile on his lips, pulling Mercy to her feet before taking the sleeping boy from my arms.

"Jo do you work on Saturday? Please let us take you out! We can do breakfast or brunch or lunch or dinner or drinks or any other meal you can think of! We want to thank you for keeping our baby alive!" Mercy slurs as Felix gets Josh tucked away.

"Um," Jo looks to me for help and I just stare at her, if she thinks I'm going to help her get out of this she's crazy. I smirk at her and to my surprise she matches mine with one of her own. "Actually I am off, my sister has her last dress fitting on Saturday morning."

"Oh yes oh yes oh yes! I'll plan everything! Hero I know you aren't doing anything since all you do is hangout with us or mope around here so I'll text you guys the details tomorrow! Oh yeah I'm so excited! Felix this is going to be so fun innit?"

"Oi Felix, remind me to get my key card from Mercy on Saturday?" I say, to which Felix laughs.

"Yes baby so fun, now come on lets get you home." Felix says as he ushers her out.

When Jo and I are alone I see her begin to take my sweatshirt off.

"Keep it, can't have you walking around London with baby vomit all over you. You can give it back to me on Saturday."

"Okay, I'll wash it and bring it back." I hope she forgets, to be honest, I love the idea of her in her apartment wearing my clothes, thinking of me.

"Sure. Thank you Josephine, really, thank you. Tonight was actually amazing, I never thought I'd have so much fun hanging out with a baby." I say with a laugh but I am one hundred percent serious.

"It was a good night. Thank you for inviting me. I'll see you Saturday, Uncle Hero," she says with a smile and with that she's gone. I watch her retreat down the hall and turn the corner to the elevator and smile, praying for Saturday to come as quickly as possible.