Becoming (INSECURE SEQUEL)

16: Fist

"Hello." I smile at the woman at the desk. I don't know her name, but I see her all the time.

I usually bring something for Emilio. Like fruit or  something silly like a newspaper that I picked up from the store. I do it to make him feel less bad. Reading the newspaper and things that have just happened remind you that you're still alive. I do it with both good and bad intentions. I want him to know that he's still alive to remind him that his life isn't over and also so he's present enough to feel his warranted karma.

Last week he asked if he could see my children. I said no, of course. Children are curious beings. If Mahlia sees him, she'll just want to know who he is and what he's done; once he's gone, then she'll want to know where he went. I don't want to have to explain death to her so young.

I decide to stop by the break room before I go to see Emilio to see if I'll run into Ashton. Just like I had hoped, I see him standing across the room with his back turned.  I start to smile when I see him, starting to feel happier and safer. I lean my head over to see what he's doing and I stop, tilting it back in shock when my eyes fall on the person standing in front of him.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, standing back and out of sight as I look at them. Melody is talking to him about something I'm not close enough to understand. He furrows his eyebrows, looking confused and concerned with what she's saying. In fact, it's the concern on his face that keeps my attention. I don't mind him talking to Melody. He can do whatever he wants, but why can't it just be a hi and bye thing? Why are they holding a conversation? One that looks important at that.

I stand where I am until she walks away. She does so with a certain spunk, like he had said something to annoy her. I don't know why an uneasy feeling rushes into my chest. Who does she think she is to be annoyed with him?

My heart starts to beat rapidly as suspicion floods into my brain. I never thought I'd care, but seeing the two of the speaking prompts a feeling in me that awakens my unwavering insecurity. What could they have been talking about? It's not that big of a deal, they could have been saying anything. Maybe he has a dress of hers from five years ago that he never returned. I turn around, facing the wall to take a deep breath before I turn back around and start to walk towards him.

I struggle to silence the thoughts that are roaming freely in my mind. I'll just ask him, that's all. I clear my throat to get rid of any inconsistencies in my voice when I speak.

"Hey." I say from behind him.

Ashton turns his head and smiles at me. He seems happy to see me, so maybe it's nothing. Maybe. "Hey."

"Was that Melody?" I ask, not seeing the point in wasting time to pretend I don't want to know.

"What?"

I raise an eyebrow. "What was she saying?"

I don't repeat my first questions because I know that he heard me. Him asking me what I said is just him trying to buy time for a response. Ashton stares at me in silence for a few seconds. He examines my face in one quick glance before he responds.

"Nothing important. She was asking me if I know where the cafeteria is....."

When he speaks, I immediately know that he's lying. I'm not a lie detector and he doesn't lie to me for me to be able to tell when he's lying, all I have is a gut feeling. Melody would know where the cafeteria is. This hospital has been the same for years. Plus, unless he told her to go ask God where the cafeteria is, her little storm off wasn't permitted. It's obvious from the way he trails off at the end of his LIE to think about if it makes sense or not. It doesn't.

My eyes narrow themselves and I nod my head. "Okay."

He nods his head, not knowing what else to say.