keep it inside

Chapter1:Why?

TW:RAPE
Maybe I shouldn't exist?
I wouldn't have to go through all this pain if i just....disappeared.
Never would have I known what would happen next.

Stiles were one of my moms little friends, he wouldn't come over often,only if he really needed to.
Stiles is 10 years older than me. I'm 21 now. You can never imagine the trauma I went through, but wait a minute, let's back up a bit. (I'm 14 in this point)I was always top of my class.
Sometimes if I would get the questions wrong I would cover my face with my black silky hair to hide my embasment while all the other kids laughed  at me. honestly i was used to it so it didn't really affect me that much. I am not very fond of my mother. She was either out partying or with her boyfriend that doesn't like her  but she's too madly in love with him to see that. His name is Stiles, Stiles london. Stiles is a nice man but never gets on his bad side like I did once before.(now I'm 21) He came over to my house one night, we were eating chinese food. I dropped my fork on the floor. My ma yelled at me for it but i didn't really mind. I was about to go on the floor to pick it up when I felt something cold  going up my left thigh. I look across from me and I don't see stiles. I'm guessing my mom didn't see he wasn't sitting since she's so attached to her phone doing god knows what. At the moment  I feel him going more up by the second i was getting very uncomfortable when i said,'' Mom may i please be excused?"  trying to sound as calmly as i could she said," yeah of course hunny." With a warm smile I quickly left that table and sprinted into the bathroom. I was trying to stay in there until stiles left but a couple minutes later I heard a knock on the door. I was thinking really thinking straight so i opened the door and before you know it im being pinned by the wall by stiles london.
His breath reeked of alcohol, he had a wide grin on his face while his eyes were roaming my body. I was trying too hard to get out of his grasp but he was too strong and my movement was making me weaker by the second. He whispered something in my ear, " if you keep moving you're gonna make it worse" i didn't listen to him because all these thoughts were running through my head next thing you know he let me down. My thoughts were, " was it really that easy?" " Am i free?' but i heard something unzip. I look straight ahead and see Stiles taking off his clothes until he's fully naked. I was so scared I was frozen at the spot. He yanked me from the corner I was standing in and began ripping my clothes. My eyes were forming tears. He put his hand on my mouth and started  forcing himself inside of me., I was being raped.