Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 20.

It was definitely the alcohol doing the talking, that question is one far too direct for my sober mouth to speak. I'm a pretty forward guy but there's boundaries, I know that. I'm unsure of whether this is a touchy subject or not, I can't decipher between normal and risky questions when I'm drunk but the awkwardness I felt once I asked it was enough to give me an idea.

"You realise people are fucked up when you're fucked up yourself." Harlow says with an absolute blank expression, forming her lips into a line when she realised what it was she said.

That's sad, it's really sad.

I didn't have time to ponder over the words she just said, dissect them piece by piece like I usually do when she talks because she stood up and began walking in the opposite direction. It was like she regretted saying it, like those words were much deeper than I thought they were and her only solution was to run from the truth.

I'm learning a lot about her, learning that the truth scares her because last night when I told her it's the ones who want to disappear that want to be found, it was as if she had just seen a ghost. Perhaps that's her biggest fear, the truth.

I didn't want her to leave though. We all have to face our fears eventually and running away from situations you drop yourself in never fixes anything, I've learned that the hard way.

So I reach for her arm, lightly wrapping my fingers around her wrist gently in a way that wouldn't frighten her because the book I'm reading has taught me how the slightest gestures like this can be misinterpreted. I don't want her to be scared of me.

"Where are you going?" Was the only thing I managed to choke out when she turned to face me confused.

Maybe she's a witch because I'm usually the one leaving people speechless, leaving people struggling to find words to spit out but now Harlow had me forgetting how to form a basic sentence and I don't know.

She didn't answer though, instead she shrugged her shoulders and continued strutting away.

Girls are hard to read, it's why I never get involved with them, however Harlow's different. I'll tell myself this is all for show, that this all just so everyone keeps thinking this charade of ours is in fact the truth, that we are together. I know that's not the real reason though.

I'm actually interested in Harlow, interested in the way her mind works. I've known for a long time she's dealt with some big things on her own but now we're face to face on a regular basis, I'm realising she's a much more complex person than I anticipated.

So I follow her. I follow her straight through the sea of drunk, sweaty bodies, the odd one giving her a quick 'hello' and I follow her through the door that says staff only. There was no way she didn't know I was behind her but that didn't cause her to turn round once. She walked into her office and twirled round so she was staring at me as I appeared in the doorway with an inviting smile.

"Thanks for the new window by the way." She says, twirling a strand of hair round her fingers as she sits herself down on the couch in her office.

"You're more than welcome Birdy," I smirk, walking over confidently to sit down next to her.

I don't sit too close because I don't know her current state of mind. Is she still running from anything out of her comfort zone? Because if she is she should stop. Birdy needs to spread her wings and fly, not run away and hide.

Looking at her here without the thumping music and strobing neon lights distracting me, it allows me to admire her. She's a beautiful woman and it's not often I'll say that about someone. I sleep with lots of women, all women I find hot, but there's a difference between sexual attraction and beauty. Harlow has beauty, inside and out.