Ace The Wager (TO BE PUBLISHED)

Chapter 06

I COULD GO ANYWHERE I WANT—even to the least likable place on Earth—just not home. Hindi ba nakakalungkot na 'yong lugar kung saan ka dapat magiging masaya ay ang tahanan na palagi mong kinakatakutan?

We all have our share of problems, even the composed adults, but it's never an excuse to use the people around you as your emotional punching bag.

Ilang taon ko na 'yan sinasabi sa sarili ko. Baka pagod lang sila sa trabaho. Baka ganiyan lang nila akong tratuhin kasi hindi nila nasasabi ang emosyon nila sa iba. My parents are handling a multi-million company so I give them every excuse to use me as their emotion outlet.

And I've tried suppressing my feelings even though it was starting to eat me alive. Pero ano ba naman ang karapatan kong magreklamo na umaasa lang ako sa pera nila para mabuhay?

So I tried becoming the perfect daughter who would not even dare lift her gaze away from books. Ginawa ko naman lahat para hindi maging pabigat. But I think that's the irony of things. Once they get used to the lightweight load you've given them, a pebble of disappointment that you've caused becomes a boulder that everyone will eventually throw at you.

"Siobhan Esme Thiago."

Shivers went up my spine when I heard my full name. Dalawang rason lang 'yan: it's either I did something bad or I did something that disappointed them.

I looked at my parents, ready to accept my fate. Judging from the looks on their faces, I guess they already received my test score. Ma'am Arlene sure did well at sending my grades to them. She should apply that same energy on teaching.

"Didn't you study for your finals?" banayad na tanong ni Mommy.

Nakatungo lang ako habang patuloy si Mommy sa sermon niya. I didn't dare speak because there was nothing to justify my scores. Alam ko naman na kasalanan ko 'yon. Dapat nag-aral ako ng mas mabuti.

"I never had high expectations in you, Siobhan, but I didn't expect that you would be this dumb."

A pang hit my chest. Kaya ko naman tiisin ang ibang insulto ngunit hindi ko kayang pakinggan ang ganiyang mga salita kasi alam ko sa sarili ko... alam ko na sinubukan ko naman. I did my best that it eventually became the worst mistake I've ever done.

I inhaled a sharp breath before I met her gaze. "Mommy, please, let me explain-"

But she didn't. She never really gave me time to explain.

The side of my face became numb when I felt her hand land on my cheek. It stung. Nanggilid ang mga luha ko habang pinipigilan ang sarili na sumigaw. Mommy didn't look remorseful for what she did to me. Sinabunutan pa niya ako.

"Grace," I heard Daddy call her but she kept on tugging my hair until we reached the their bedroom.

Nagpatianod lang ako sa kaniya kahit na ang sakit ng pagkakakalmot niya. Padarag naman niya ako na tinulak papasok sa kwarto nila.

I was sprawled on the floor at the end of my parents' king-sized bed. Nakita ko si Daddy na pumasok pero nanatili siyang walang emosyon na nakatingin sa'kin. Sumandal siya sa doorway, nakakrus pa ang mga braso.

I didn't know what hurt more: Mommy's physical abuse or Daddy watching me as if he didn't care.

"Dad..." pagmamakaawa ko. "Dad, I'm so sorry. Babawi po ako-"

Pero iniwasan lang niya 'ko ng tingin. That simple move hurt more than any punch in the gut I've received. Parang nilukot ang dibdib ko dahil lang sa simpleng ginawa niya. Wala... wala na ba akong makakapitan sa bahay na 'to?

"Why are you looking at your father?" Mariin na pinisil ni mommy ang magkabilang pisngi ko. Ramdam na ramdam ko ngayon ang mahaba niyang kuko na bumabaon sa pisngi ko.