𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 ➪ 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

thank you,

"I can finally start achieving my dreams! Away from our town in the big city, I'll make sure to buy the nicest penthouse with all my money when I become a lawyer! With luxury and wealth with the added benefit of never having to worry about being mugged or watching my back... I'll finally start living life."

I remember it better than my own name the night, or well morning he said that. Proclaiming he was going to be the big shot everyone would turn towards when he entered a room and have overwhelming respect for. It still makes me flustered when I visualize it, how so many years ago blinded by his lust for prestige and wealth... He still saw me.

"But as soon as I get the good life, I'm bringing you, Mamá and Papá to live with me! I don't know what I'd ever do without any of you guys, you're like... My Dwayne. My Rock Johnson... And you guys give me even more reason to pursue it for our future. You're everything to me Y/n... You're my best friend."

Hearing that originally kind of stung, I yearned to be so much more than just... A best friend. But, I was just thankful to be in his life at all. Just to be his most trusted person, his person therapist as he was mine, his... Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson... But, I suppose I never did end up more than that; I was still extremely thankful for what we had. Nothing could ever be more special than that, a best friend. It's debatable but to me, that relationship where you can fully trust your whole life into one person without a second thought... Where you know they'll always have your best interest, would constantly care and think of you when you don't think of yourself.

Even if he forgot about me for the last years of my life.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" I quietly muttered, just soaking in the rising of dawn and letting the gentle breeze take away all my pains and heartaches. "Yeah..." He was solemn, a glum frown making itself apparent as I allowed us just a moment or two of silence before continuing. "What's happening up there? What's changing your mind?" I urged gently, knowing this could be a bit of a sensitive topic, and from my time with him, he could get touchy with it so I tried being as sensitive as I could while trying to get at the bottom of it. His face still grim, sighed with eyes avoiding my own and rather towards the rising sun. "It's just..."

He took a minute to think over his words, "...this is my last everything. My last moments on earth, my last night, my last sunrise... You'd think since I'm already dead I wouldn't care as much, having already lost a lot of the things I loved... But, I'm... Scared. What if I disappear, just... Stop existing altogether. What if the idea of an afterlife was a coping mechanism for the inevitability of the abyss... I don't want to disappear for good..." It was valid, what he said I wholeheartedly understood. Change was a scary thing, having things come and go; knowing something might not be available anymore was frightening. Hell, as excited as I was I would be lying to say I wasn't nervous myself.

There was one thing I always asked myself when that doubt, fear and existential dread crept up as it notoriously did.

"Why?" I asked simply, the single-syllable word shocking the older man who floated right by my side. "E-excuse me?" He seemed shocked, but I repeated my question since he couldn't believe his ears. "Well, why? I get it, the thought of no longer being conscious, drifting and disappearing to time that makes your life seem futile and insignificant... But there's something I eventually had to come to terms with. It's okay to be gone because as cheesy as it sounds you won't ever vanish. At least not to people that matter."

"But when they pass, you'll be forgotten..."

"Try and think of it this way... If there is an afterlife, you'll be together. If there isn't, that's ok. What's it worth to be remembered by people you never knew? And don't stress too much okay, from what I can understand you only pass on when you are ready to. There's something to it, and though I don't have any more proof other than a gut feeling, it's a good one I can promise you that." He looked a little more confidant, a nervous smile growing to his lips, however, it was a smile all the same. And when he finally looked at me, meeting my eyes and I could see his wounded, but healing, soul, a warm bittersweet feeling bubbled in my chest. Over time, he had become like family to me and it was a saddening feeling knowing this could possibly be our very last heart-to-heart. "You're a good kid." He let out breathlessly, a poignant smile enveloping his lips.