Light Years Away (Kang Daniel x Park Jihyo)

Burn Marks

Daniel sighed as he watched the rain start to pour. He turned on his car's wipers and turned up the volume of the radio. Daniel's always loved that feeling. He didn't really know why, but times like that made him feel calm and comfortable. Maybe he liked listening to music while it rained, or perhaps it was because it reminded him of simpler times. Either way, he liked it. His attention was mainly on the road in front of him, so he heard the radio, but he wasn't really listening to it.

Until a particular tune caught his ears.

The melody was too familiar, and he didn't have to think long before it clicked.

'Oh... ' he thought, 'It's her song.'

A slight feeling of longing and loneliness washed over him, but a part of him also felt comforted, somehow. And so, he started singing along.

"I want you to cry, cry for me~. 내가 울었던 것처럼 cry for me~"

A sad smile formed on his face as he chuckled bitterly, 'Cry? I've done that enough to last two lifetimes by now.'

Daniel had expected that it would hurt. After all, they didn't want to break up, but they had to. With the situation they were in, there was just no way they could be like normal couples. It was for the best, he knew that. A part of it was so that the two could focus better on their work, but Daniel had never been more distracted ever since. He's told himself that he'd be able to endure the pain, but he was wrong. Nothing could've ever prepared him for it. It was like he'd swallowed hot iron. You get moments of peace, blissfully forgetting about it for a while, but if something happened that caused you to remember, the agonizing burn marks start to sting again. Still, they did it for each other. He did it because he loved her. Daniel had convinced himself that it was just because he hadn't gotten used to it yet. He'd convinced himself that if he kept pushing on, he'd be able to live as he did before. Without the loneliness, the anxiety, the pain... without her.

He didn't regret their decision. He just regretted he couldn't do anything more.

Before he knew it, he'd already parked into his own driveway, and the tears had started welling up again.

He sighed, wiping the tears away, "Seriously? Again? I can't believe this."

He took off his seatbelt, stepped out of his car, and locked it, rushing into his house as if he was afraid someone would see him.

He locked the door, tears falling down his face. He sat down with his back leaning against the door and buried his face into his knees, occasionally letting out choked sobs.

'Come on, Daniel, stop it. You've gone through worse than this; get a grip already.'

He clenched his teeth, trying to stop himself from crying, but he couldn't. He could never stop himself when his emotions started to pour out. Then he started laughing. It was a pity laugh for himself.

'God, what am I doing? So pathetic. I must look like a crazy person right now,' he feverishly wiped his tears away, frustrated, 'What am I supposed to do? Who am I even asking at this point? I don't even know anymore.'

He was lost, but he didn't want to admit it. He refused to acknowledge the fact that out of all the times he'd suffered, he struggled with this one the most. He didn't understand why it was so hard for him. He'd spent years training to debut, he'd been through one of, if not the most popular survival show with over a million people watching, and he'd been through numerous instances where people had tried to bring him down with countless methods. Surely, he'd be able to get over a breakup... So why did it hurt so much?

Daniel took a deep breath and stood up, walking to his kitchen. He opened the fridge and stared. It was a bad idea, he knew. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't do anything stupid like that. Usually, he'd instantly be disappointed in himself for even thinking of doing something like that. But at that moment, a large part of his reasoning had disappeared. He almost completely didn't care. He didn't have anything significant to do the next day, so he made his decision. He grabbed the packet of beer and placed it on the table.