Wilhemina Venable x Reader- Rehab

Amsterdam

TW: drugs (weed)

After you both left the Museum you and Wilhemina decided to walk to the restaurant she planned to take you because it is not too far. Although you protested at first because of her back you both managed to make your way there in the matter of minutes and on the way you enjoyed the canals and atmosphere of this beautiful city. After arriving at the restaurant you are glad you decided to dress up like this because it seems fancy. ''Wow'' you exclaim as you both walk inside and your girlfriend simply chuckles. ''Good evening lady's how may I help you?'' a waiter says and you are surprised he speaks english right away. ''Reservation for Venable please'' Wilhemina says and you follow her and the waiter inside. The restaurant is small but beautiful , there is white interior and the ceiling looks like a painting with clouds and blue skies with angels. Your mouth is open as you watch the beautiful restaurant. After a while you reach a small table with two chairs and a little rose in the middle of the table and it's quite romantic. ''Mina this is beautiful'' you say still trying to find your words. ''Anything for you my darling'' she answers as you both take a look at the menu. You don't recognize most of the meals so you decide to go for a simple pasta dish and Wilhemina chooses to do the same. After the food arrives and you are about to take your first bite you are interrupted by a child crying loudly at the table next to you and her mother trying to calm the newborn down. You look over to them and give them a reassuring smile and Wilhemina watches you. After you both start eating you start to think about Children and if at some point in your relationship Mina and you would maybe have any so you ask her ''Mina? can I ask you something?'' she looks at you and gives you her full attention, resting her arms on the table.  ''Um I was wondering would you ever want children?'' and your girlfriend has no idea how to answer that question.  Truth to be told Wilhemina has often thought about having children but she eventually came to terms with herself that she would never find anyone or be worthy of anyone's love. Since she has met you, the thought of kids has crossed her mind but she doesn't think she could be good with them because she would probably be too strict or harsh and part of her just doesn't really want any. She doesn't know whether you would want some or not so she isn't sure what to answer because she doesn't wanna upset you. After thinking about it for a moment she simply says: ''I'm not sure, how about you?'' and you kind of feel disappointed because you have always wanted children since you were younger because you want to make sure that no child has to grow up the way you did, in foster homes that would treat them very poorly. You wanna make a difference, provide for children and be a mother but seeing Wilhemina hesitate upsets you so you just answer ''I'm not sure'' and quickly focus on your meal again. Something you have yet to learn is how to actually talk about your emotions and feelings in situations with Wilhemina. You often avoid certain conversations due to her reaction to things or because you overthink a lot. You sit there finishing your meal and the both of you hardly speak since talking about children. Wilhemina would make small talk and talk about the food, Amsterdam, the restaurant, work and all sorts of things but you are distracted with your thoughts and obviously Wilhemina can tell. ''What if it is me? what if that is the reason why she wouldn't want children, what if she leaves me if she finds out we have different desires and wishes when it comes to our future'' those are some thoughts currently crossing your mind and it's hard for you to engage with Wilhemina or be in the situation because you feel like a thousand miles away from Amsterdam, your girlfriend because you are in your head. After a while Wilhemina puts her hand on top of yours and brushes her thumb over your hand and this pulls you out of your thoughts.  ''Are you okay Y/N?'' she asks with a soft smile and she knows something is up with you but she isn't sure what this is exactly about. But as you take a glance over to the table with the child again she knows why you are upset and she doesn't want you to be upset. ''Yes I am fine I'm sorry Mina'' you answer feeling bad for being absent and treating her like this just because you can't have a conversation like an adult and talk about your feelings.  ''Do you wanna pay and have Thomas take us to our hotel?'' she asks and part of you doesn't want this beautiful night to end but at the same time you are completely exhausted, the jet lag now hitting you. ''Yes please I am really tired'' you admit with a smile and shortly after she waves the waiter, pays for the meals and then you both leave. Thomas is already waiting and you try hard to not fall asleep in the car and it works as the hotel is only a short distance away. You don't really fully remember how you got into the hotel room and how you are now in pajamas lying in Wilhemina's arms while looking at the buildings and lights from the hotel windows. Exhaustion fills your body and you yawn and after a few minutes you doze off to sleep. Your girlfriend chuckles before falling asleep a few moments later.