This is War [ONC 2021] // Honourable Mention

Chapter Twenty- Kurt

The longer the war went on, the more Kurt couldn't wait for his leave to go through and he could return home to his family - even if it would only be for a few days. Since Christmas, he had never fired his weapon to kill anyone, he was certain he had never hit anyone in the times he had fired it, although he pretended he did. Kurt followed the orders given to him and he tried to act like the other soldiers, but he never shot anyone.

Perhaps that made him a bad soldier, a traitor to his country, but he didn't care what other people thought. He didn't want the war to ruin his humanity, to destroy the person he was before he signed up all those months ago. Many men had seen a change in themselves, from the way they behaved to their overall attitude towards the enemy who Kurt had decided weren't all that different from himself. War would not make him a bad person, he wouldn't let it.

"What are your plans for your leave?" Wilhelm asked, polishing his bayonet to get the mud from it.

"Spend time with my family, maybe go and see Marie," Kurt said.

"My sister writes to you more then she writes to me." Johannes laughed. "Maybe put in a good word for me next time."

"Anna wants me to go and visit her when we're back. It looks like Marie managed to persuade her that I'm not that bad a person."

"She'll hardly recognise you. You look about ten years older."

Wilhelm laughed, but Kurt didn't see where the humour came in. None of them looked the same as they had when they first arrived in the trench and they certainly weren't the boys that had left home. Johannes had lost the baby fat from his cheeks in a matter of months due to the decrease in rations. Both Kurt and Wilhem were caked in mud, stubble appearing on their chins with their faces lined from battle and lack of sleep. To Kurt, they were twenty going on thirty-five.

None of the men who had entered the trench as teenagers all those months ago looked the same age, with most of the sixteen-year-olds finally looking old enough to be in the trench. War did strange things to people, and ageing them ten years in a matter of months was one of them. Not only that but some of the men who had been on the line since day one were starting to reach their breaking point.

Like Kurt, they jumped at the slightest noise, struggled to sleep and were itching for their leave to go through so they could finally return home to the safety of their own bed. Some had disappeared from the trench completely, the army calling them deserters who were to be shot when they were found. Most were spotted walking behind the lines, some of them in an almost dazed-like state. Men who were struggling but were shot for betraying their Regiment and their country.

After all those months on the front, with nothing but a few days' relief every four days or so, Kurt could hardly believe that he thought of war to be such a good thing. He may go home a hero, with a medal and a victory in his belt, but he would return a changed man, someone he wouldn't even recognise. Not only physically, but Kurt no longer felt like himself. When he had shot that man, he had lost a part of himself that he would never get back, something inside of him broke. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to return to the man who had left his family home all those months ago.

"Kurt, we're on guard duty. Come on," Wilhelm nudged him in the side.

"Ja, I'm coming."

"It's like you're not even here half the time."

"Just looking forward to our leave, that's all."

Wilhelm regarded Kurt with a slight head tilt, as though he didn't quite believe him. "Right. Let's go, or the Hauptmann will put us on latrine duty if we're light."

Kurt slung his rifle onto his shoulder and followed Wilhelm out of the dugout and into the main tench. The weather had settled, but the mud remained with the wooden plans offering little protection from the mud that splattered their boots and the bottom of their trousers. It was almost impossible to keep clean in the trench and many of the men suffered from horrific maladies to their feet because their boots were always damp.

Together, they approached the watchpoint and raised their rifles above the side of the trench, watching the line for anyone moving just beyond them. Sometimes, they would catch someone moving through the barbed wire, but they never got close enough for them to be a threat. Most of the time they were simply repairing a gap in the wire, something Kurt himself had done on more than one occasion. Most of the time, guard duty was quiet, especially in the aftermath of a battle, but they would occasionally hear the sound of a machine gun firing in front of them and their machine gunners firing back.

Life in the trench was never quiet, not in the same way their life back in the German country had been. They would hear the occasional sound of gunfire in the distance, a mortar shell being launched or someone in their own trench firing at the British to keep them on their toes.

"I think someone's out there," Wilhelm said, nudging Kurt in the side and pointing out across the barbed wire.

"They're probably just repairing the wire." Kurt narrowed his eyes to watch the shadow move in front of them.

"They're a little too close for wire repair, don't you think?"

Kurt shrugged. "I doubt they'd send one man out on his own."

"It might be a scouting mission."

The two of them watched the shadow move around in front of them, it got bigger the closer it became and Kurt could see Wilhelm itching to pull the trigger when the man got close enough. When the man got closer, Kurt squeezed his eyes shut just as Wilhelm pulled the trigger, the loud bang echoing through the trench. 

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First Published - February 25th, 2021