CONFLICTED

Chapter 51| Bonhomie

But it happened and it was magical. Too bad it only lasted a short while. I didn't even get to know why he kissed me. If he had any ounce of feelings for me or if it was just a fling or perhaps he was fooling around.

All because his ex had to wake up from the dead. That was harsh I know, but Christopher and I had something going on and she just had to put an end to it before it even bloomed.

Didn't she break up with him already? So why did she get to resurrect and have things go back to the way they were? I didn't want things returning to their old place. I was a lonely introvert that spent her whole life locked up in her room with nothing much to do. Christopher and his friends walked into my life, made it better, and nothing was going to change that.

Christopher kissed me. He kissed me. And I kissed him back because I like him. I was being clingy now but who cares. I couldn't bear having him treat me like a nobody once he gets back with her. I could tell he always longed for their reunion by the way he talked about her with a certain warmth in his eyes.

Chioma must have seen this coming because she warned me not to fall in love with him. I knew from the very onset about Annabelle but here I was with no regret. She obviously threw away her chance to be with him but if he still chose her over me, probably without any hesitation, I'd be left with nothing.

"Tracy!"

"Ma?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine." I lied. "Why do you ask?"

My mom gave me a look that said she wasn't buying my lie.

"Because you've been washing that same plate for the past thirty minutes now."

"What?" I looked down at the sink and realized I was still down to the first plate I had picked up. "Oh."

I dropped it on the slab and picked another one to wash.

"You can talk to me y'know." she said and I secretly rolled my eyes.

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine."

and you're the last person on earth I'd have a chat with right now.

"If you can't talk to me, your mother, about what's bothering you, then who else would you talk to? You've been absent minded the whole day and you still won't confide in me?"

I truly haven't been myself ever since I turned my back on Christopher and walked away yesterday. This morning, I walked up to my brother and yelled at him rather than ask if he was with my earphones. But they were innocently plunged into my ears after all and I didn't notice until Tristan pointed it out.

When I returned from work, I decided to make dinner for us all just to keep me preoccupied. I kept measuring out cups of rice, losing count and having no choice than to pour them back and remeasure, only to repeat the process again and again because I was distracted. The entire time at Denver's, I was a complete mess. I asked one customer what he ordered for and he had to repeat it three more times before I got it right. I even mistook someone's order for another by dropping it at the wrong table. In a nutshell, my day went terrible.

My mom, however was not in the position to soothe me.

"I'm fine." I repeated.

I still haven't found it in me to forgive her for keeping such a huge secret from me and I needed more time to stop looking at her in disgust every time I saw her.

"Is this about Annabelle?" she asked and I turned to her in surprise.

"How do you know?"

"I know everything I need to know, Tracy."