CONFLICTED

Chapter 51| Bonhomie

Kelvin stopped pestering me as I dropped the litters into the bin. When I was done, I sat on the swivel chair, feeling only a pinch from my wound.

"I kissed Tracy." I blurted out.

"You what?" Kelvin was taken aback, "How did that happen? When did happen? Wait, what?" he asked each time just as befuddled.

I stayed quiet whilst he processed and digested the new information. It definitely didn't sit well with him as it didn't with me. Kelvin stood up on his feet and paced back and forth. Eventually, he spoke again.

"Please tell me you don't have some shitty feelings for her."

"I don't know man. I just... I don't know."

"You don't know?" he exploded, "Annabelle loves you Chris. Take it from me, take it from anyone else. She spent three fucking months lying unconscious on a hospital bed yet the first thing she asked when she woke up was where you are. How did Tracy even come into the picture? You guys have tutorials together, you can't stand each other until you guys agreed on being civil, and Charlie crushed on her before she turned down his feelings. What have I been missing out?"

I took a moment to align my thoughts before speaking.

"I really think I have feelings for Tracy. Now I don't know how or when it started but I do care about her. I care about Tracy."

"You're not making sense right now, brother." he rubbed on his forehead as if to suppress a headache, "All I'm gonna say is you shouldn't get it twisted. Tracy is... Well, different. I agree, but saying you have feelings for her is way over the top, don't you think?"

"Why do you care so much that I'm caught in a triangle? The Kelvin I know would always tell me to go for the new girl."

"Are you out of your fucking mind? We're talking about Anna here. Are you going to bring some playboy rule into this shit?" he spat and I sighed in realization.

"Suzan's gonna have your ass again, won't she?"

Kelvin gave me a look that said, You betcha.

"But honestly, that aside, you and Anne are perfect together. She was always there for you and you guys made every other couples make a run for their money. Are you saying the time y'all spent together means nothing to you?"

Of course it meant something. I loved Annabelle, no second-guessing that. She found a way to bring me and my dad together so to be real, she started this happiness I got to have today. Infact, she was my happiness. Everything we shared was genuine and heartwarming. Her smile was my smile, her pain was my pain, her doubts were mine, and it was really taking a whole lot not to be by her side right now.

It's just that I kissed another girl just the day before and it wasn't for the fun of it. I knew I felt something when I kissed Tracy. What I felt for her was equally what I felt for Anna, or maybe more, or maybe less. I really needed to get my thinking straight before I made any attempt to see her.

"I'm conflicted." I breathed out. "I'm extremely confused and conflicted. I don't think I know what to do or even think." I told him.

Kelvin sat on my bed and faced me squarely.

"Has it really come to the point where you have to choose?"

I thought of the two girls and got disoriented again between the two choices.

"Yes. Yes, it has."

~~~

Tracy

I was absent minded to the extreme the whole day. I cried to bed last night and when I woke up this morning, I couldn't recognize myself. My first kiss was what I pictured it to be, and even more. If anyone told me a day would come when I'd get to lock lips with the hottest biracial boy I've ever set my eyes on, I would have laughed like a lunatic till the sun went down.