Damaged Goods

Chapter 13

TJ panicked a little, not sure what to say and not sure how Lyla would react to the question. But she responded easily, as she had obviously prepared for the question, knowing it might be asked.

"Just needed a little break" she said smiling, as she managed sound very cheerful and casual.

Lyla and TJ talked pleasantly, played some darts and had a relaxed evening. Lyla became more and more comfortable conversing with TJ, as the evening continued.

"You about ready to go?" TJ asked once it had gotten pretty late.

"Yeah, I think so" Lyla said, smiling.

"Ok, I'm going to hit the restroom really quick, before we head out" TJ said.

While he was gone, Lyla tried to pay her tab, but Travis just winked at her and told her TJ already took care of it.

"That's really no necessary, I can pay for my own drinks" Lyla said, still offering her card.

"Nope," Travis responded, "It's already covered" and he gently pushed her hand back.

Lyla smiled at him as she put her card away. Lyla liked and appreciated Travis. He was lighthearted and friendly, but most importantly, he was low-risk. He was best friends with TJ, her husband, she still didn't like to use that word for him, it made her nervous. But she could tell Travis would never hit on her or compromise his friendship with TJ because of her, and for Lyla, that meant Travis was safe. So even if it was mostly subconscious, she felt very comfortable Travis. Far more so than she did with TJ, her husband.

TJ came out of the bathroom and saw Travis giving Lyla a hug as she was saying goodbye to him. The pang of jealousy hit him again. He knew it was harmless, but he still couldn't help but feel a little hurt that Lyla was so friendly with Travis, and so formal with him.

"Shall we?" he said, then turning toward Travis "See ya man, talk to you later."

"Thanks for letting me tag along" Lyla said, as they stepped outside. "I had a really nice time."

"No problem" TJ responded "it was great to have you here."

"Would you like to walk back along the beach?" She asked, looking at TJ.

"Great idea" TJ responded, seizing the opportunity to spend a little more time with Lyla, not wanting to be back in the condo yet, where they would inevitably go their separate ways.

"This way," he motioned as they reached a corner, and he directed her across the street toward the beach.

"So," Lyla started to speak once they were walking in the sand, next to the lapping waves. "My ex-husband is out of prison." She continued.

Whatever TJ had expected her to say, it wasn't that. He had imagined a handful of different scenarios that might account for Lyla's sudden call to him, and the bruise on her face, but this wasn't something he had considered. She had never said anything about her previous marriage to him, other than that it was over and her ex was in prison. He had no idea that it was apparently and abusive relationship. TJ suddenly felt very protective of Lyla, but had no idea what to do with that feeling.

"Is that why you're here?" TJ asked quietly.

"Yes" she responded, staring down at the ground as she spoke. "He paid me a visit, and I got scared. I didn't know he was out."

"Did he hit you?" TJ asked.

"Yes" she replied quietly, as she brushed away a tear. "The police don't know where he is, so I was hoping I could stay with you a little while longer. If that's ok?" she asked.

"You can stay as long as you need." TJ responded. He wanted to put his arm around her and give her a hug, but he knew she probably wouldn't be very receptive, so he kept his hands in his pockets.

Lyla hated feeling this vulnerable. She didn't want to cry in front of TJ, she didn't want to talk about her ex and she didn't want TJ's sympathy. She wanted to completely forget about her past, but as yesterday had proved, it would continue to find her. For a fleeting moment she considered what a new future would look like, a safe future without her ex, a future with someone who actually cared for her. But she quickly pushed that thought out of her mind, and began to put her protective walls back into place, guarding herself from emotion that might lead to future pain.

"What does your weekend look like?" She asked abruptly, casting aside the oppressive mood that had just recently permeated the air between them. "I don't want you to change any plans or anything on my account, and I don't want to be in the way."

TJ was amazed at how easily she could change her demeanor. She obviously had practice hiding what upset her.

"Um, my weekends are pretty empty. I usually try to go to the gym, get a little bit of work done when I feel like it, but mostly watch same football and try to relax. My work-weeks are usually pretty busy, so I try to fully take advantage of free time."

"Sounds nice" she responded. "I feel like I spend a lot of time just being busy, so I'm going to try to follow your example and take a little down time."

When they got back to the condo, it was back to the awkwardness that had been present before this weekend. Lyla said she was going to head to bed, and disappeared into her room. TJ sat in the living room watching TV for a little while, hoping Lyla would come back out for a little, but she never did, and he eventually went to bed.

Lyla cried herself to sleep that night. She felt like her emotions were all over the place. She thought she was doing well, but when James showed up in her apartment, she realized there were a lot of fears and trauma she still needed to deal with. And knowing James was still out there somewhere didn't help. She also had concerns about staying with TJ. He was being very kind and accommodating, but she didn't want to take advantage of his hospitality. She also didn't want to lead him on or make him think that she was looking for more from him in their relationship. She wanted to keep it compartmentalized, like it was before, non-personal and transactional. She was afraid of what would happen if she allowed herself to drop her protective walls around him.