Damien Haas x Lemon

I Know You're Lying To Me.

"Anyway, the next truth or lie," Courtney muttered as she sat back down and watched the three at the table.

A smile claimed her face and she had to focus her mind before speaking. "I have," her voice cleared and then she coughed once to move the words out, "seen Shayne's penis." His eyes went wide and he glanced at Damien as he began to laugh.

"The panic. Do you not remember her Shayne? Wow, one night stands mean nothing to you." Keith muttered as he heard the potential lie from her mouth.

"I think that is a lie. Maybe she has seen Ian's or something. Perhaps this is how Ian is announcing his new relationship." Shayne watched her closely, eyes narrowing and attempting to gather every detail from her that he could.

"And finally, I can speak two languages." The words had barely left her mouth when Shayne jolted up and turned to Damien who nodded and gestured for him to answer for them both.

"The lie, we don't even have to think about. You have not seen my penis." Shayne stopped but his mouth didn't fully close. "Have you?" His face turned red with laughter and embarrassment but still, he met her eyes.

"So, do I get to splash them or does someone else?" Shayne's face went red as his eyes darted to her a little harder and he tried to read her expression as she gestured in the buckets that Sarah and Matt lifted, eventually tipping the cold water over them.

"Shayne. No, Shayne. How did you forget her face? I'm all wet. That's what she said," Damien complained as he stood, trying to dry himself off a little better than he would have if he just sat. Air was flooded in his voice as Shayne sat, open mouthed. 

"How? When?" Shayne almost demanded as he sat, acting like a fish as water soaked through his clothes.

The room calmed a little but both men were left to sit in their damp clothes with a small towel to wipe their faces.

"Hello, my name is Delilah and I am a new crew member for Mythical and Smosh. Have been for a couple of months now." A broad smile was given as she then introduced herself properly.

"Hello Delilah," Cast and crew responded as she spoke and a laugh erupted from her.

"Is this some AA meeting? I just stand here and tell you about my alcohol habits. I just," Delilah stopped and stood holding her hands across her stomach as her face became flat and completely void of emotion, "Hi, my name is Delilah and I have been clean for five years now. Last time I got drunk I made a bad choice and nearly lost my job." A few laughs could be heard again before Delilah sat and watched the two men before her with a smile.

"You should probably explain what you have just said," Ian suggested and Delilah shook her head, reading the three statements.

"So my first fact, I went running about three months ago but my hips that are already damaged goods started to pop a little in and out. Then part of the way through I was passing a fish shop who had a fresh delivery and the smell made me throw up. I can't stand fish. So as I was throwing up my whole body tensed and my hips dislocated. I only got out of crutches four days ago." The room stifled a smile as they heard the confession.

"But, when did you see my penis?" Shayne complained as he heard her explanation for one sentence.

"Oh, I am the new chief editor for Mythical and Smosh. And when you did your spelling bee waxing video you flashed one of the cameras, Ian wanted that clip in so I spent about half an hour cropping the frame so that your junk remained in the trunk." Shayne turned to the crew backstage and a nod from one of the other editors kept him from disagreeing as red shone across his face.

"Wait, so what was the lie?" Keith asked as he laughed, giving up on trying to comfort Shayne.

"She can't speak two languages," hushed Courtney as she was rubbing Shayne's embarrassed arm.

"No. I speak twelve, almost thirteen languages." The laughter stopped and Shayne turned to the woman who had just spoken. Her head had been nodding as she spoke and rapid blinks left Damien and Shayne.

"What?" Shayne sounded almost exasperated as he took in the information that she had just dropped on them.

"How?"

"Oh, I was a child prodigy and was supposed to be a linguist but my university messed me around and my sponsors jumped ship so I studied cinematography at Goldsmith's university." Damien blinked rapidly as he watched her.

"How do you go from languages to technology?" Damien almost laughed out as he heard her response.

"I ended up having to take a gap year and I fell into editing. I took some courses and picked it up. Eventually, I was spotted and a film company managed to pick me up and push me through University. Once you have been identified as a 'prodigy' people tend to keep their eyes on you." At her answer, the buckets were removed, almost definitely to be refilled.

"What languages do you speak?" Damien retorted as he tried to size the information up.

"English, Arabic,German, Spanish, Mandarin, Thai, Russian, French, Oromo, I specifically speak Afaan Oromo, Khoisan, Japanese and Hindi but I also have a grasp on Punjabi. I dropped languages while I was studying Punjabi. If I had waited the year and studied as a linguist I had the potential to speak a couple more languages but I like computers and I find being a human translator boring with very few career opportunities. Especially as you can translate a lot from your phone now," Delilah coyly admitted as she then picked up her phone and read what else had been written.

"Okay, next set of truths and lie," Matt egged from the side and Delilah complied.