𝖶𝖨𝖢𝖪𝖤𝖣 𝖧𝖠𝖳𝖤 | 𝖥𝖱𝖤𝖣 𝖶𝖤𝖠𝖲𝖫𝖤𝖸

47

BACK AT HOGWARTS

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Instantly after looking at his eyes for a second, I drove back my sight to the empty streets and the view of the other buildings rooftops. I gave a short puff to my cigarette under his scrutinous eyes.

"I'm not going to become a Death Eater if that's why you came here, Fred."

Damn it, I bet I was only ruining the moment. But I was incredibly nervous and barely could manage to hide how my hands were trembling.

"I didn't say so."

It was a quick response, no doubt it in, but for some reason, I couldn't process it as the truth.

"But you thought it." Silence... I knew it. "Of course."

"I'm not saying you are thinking about becoming one, Lilith. I just believe your mother could have a lot of influence on you, that's it. She's your mother after all."

" I know who Circe is, Fred, you can guess it knowing my own mother is my worst nightmare. I'm not going to be influenced by her, why would I? She doesn't love me, you already heard Snape, she only wants to turn me into an even darker version of her. And-" my voice trembled and I bit my lip strongly to avoid crying. I hated myself for being this brutally honest with Fred. "You don't know how fucking hard and painful is having to embrace the Ares's characteristics in me, a man who didn't love me either, as my only way not to be just like her."

He tightened his lips and looked, exhausted, at the view in front of us. I took the chance to wipe out one of the tears that threatened to leave my eyes.

"She has hurt you that much, hasn't she?"

I nodded. "No one ever has hurt me as much as she has. He was the beginning of my pain, but she was the pain itself."

"And you hate her," Fred guessed, looking at me with a bit of pity shining in his eyes. It looked as if he was joining the pieces of a puzzle.

"I do," I confirmed. "I'm not letting her turn me into one of them. I'm a half-blood, I'd literally be going against myself if I was one of them and I'm definitely not. I would be even able to sacrifice myself if that means she doesn't win."

His eyes opened widely at those last words. It was the first time I admitted it aloud but if I had to give up on all my dreams and die for the cause, I would do it, and I'd make sure I drag that bitch with me to Hell.

"Oh Merlin, Lilith..." Fred ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head. "And I've been saying to you for all these years you were just like her..."

The last thing I expected him to say was to remember how he messed with me using Circe, but I simply shrugged.

"You didn't know my opinion about her-"

"I knew she was your biggest fear," he interrupted me, trying to stop me from excusing him. "I don't have any excuse and I don't think I'll ever be able to apologise enough to you."

"Yeah, so did all the Gryffindors in your course who still messed with me, you weren't the only one. Besides, I also fucked you up a lot, and we both know you only messed with me because I was a better Beater than you." I chuckled, trying to downplay.

He slightly smiled. "Aha, in your dreams, maybe. I'm still the one who hits harder of the two of us."

I punched him in the arm and he snickered. Then, without any other word needed, we went back down again, and because I wasn't feeling like seeing anyone else, I said 'good night' to Fred and got in my dorm just to lay in Hermione's bed before she arrived, hoping she would let me sleep with her tonight.