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IX • between the conception and the creation

"Yeah," said Frank, but he sounded doubtful.

Death. There had been so much death in the past few years. Didn't they deserve a break from it all? Didn't the Fates owe them at least that much? Instead of the relentless battle that never seemed to end, the infinite war that stretched before them on a blood-stained horizon? Didn't they, the heroes who had sacrificed everything, deserve an answer instead of more battles and questions? Didn't they deserve a why?

Hazel rolled over on the bed so that she was facing Frank. He smiled at her and she smiled back at him. Frank had become home, more than any place ever could. Frank was her why, her sole reason for fighting the fight. Without him, life would have faded into an endless sea of preparing and fighting and killing for war. But he was her light in the darkness, her anchor in the stormy seas. He was her why and her everything.

"You should get some sleep," he said, a concerned look flashing in his dark eyes. As if he didn't have a clue about the thoughts racing through her mind.

Hazel released a small laugh. "It's less than an hour until the Sun rises. I don't think sleep will do much for me at this point."

"Do you even remember where you're going? Where to find them?"

"Miami, remember?" she grinned.

Frank rolled his eyes. "Miami's a big place, Hazel. And a dangerous one. You can't just ride Arion around there and expect it to be that easy."

"It's never that easy," she sighed. Frank pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, and a warm feeling of contentment ran through Hazel. "But I'll be fine, Frank. If anything goes wrong, Arion and I will just run away from it at the speed of sound."

He cracked a small smile. "Somehow, that doesn't make me feel better."

Conversation faded as the tent slowly lightened, the Sun finally beginning its ascent. Frank kissed her softly, and Hazel poured every ounce of love and happiness that she possessed into the kiss. More than anything, she didn't want this to be their last. She didn't want any of this to be their last.

They deserved a thousand more nights, a thousand more kissed. They deserved an eternity of safety and happiness. But what you deserve isn't always what you get.

"I should go," Hazel said, pulling away from the warm embrace.

"You should stay," Frank sighed, but Hazel was already slipping from the warm blankets and into the cold morning.

She padded over to where she had laid out her armor and bag the day before, and silently got dressed, fully aware that Frank was standing up behind her.

"You can go back to bed, Frank," Hazel said over her shoulder as the slid her sword into place on her belt.

Frank pulled on a faded SPQR t-shirt. "I will if you do."

Lacing up her battered boots, Hazel took one last sweeping look of their shared tent. It was small, yes, with enough room for a bed and not much else. But it had become home. Their home.

Hazel told herself that this wouldn't be the last time that she would see it. But an ominous voice in the back of her mind told her differently.

"Is Nico seeing you off?" Frank asked, his hand reaching for Hazel's. She accepted it, glad to feel the familiar callouses of his hand brush against her own.

"Yes. Look out for him, will you? He's already worried sick about Will; I don't want him to be worried about me, too."

Frank released a small laugh. "It's kind of impossible not to worry. But I'll be there for him."

She gave him a grateful smile and squeezed his hand. Frank squeezed back, and Hazel never wanted to let go.

But she did.

Hazel pulled the bag over her shoulder and opened the flap of the tent, squinting in the golden light of the rising Sun. Frank was right behind her, his warmth alerting her to his presence.

"You don't have to follow me, Frank," Hazel said, but she knew the effort of trying to stop him was fruitless.

"And let you leave without saying goodbye?"

Together, they walked from their tent, from the only place of safety Hazel had grown to know, and towards the uncertain future. Or, more specifically, to where Arion stood at the base of the hill, glaring at Hazel as if upset that she was late.

"I'm here now," she muttered to him.

"He's been standing like that for an hour," a new voice said, stepping out of the shadows. Nico smiled sadly at his little sister.

"Have you been standing there for an hour?" Hazel asked with a laugh, but the question was laced with concern.

Nico shrugged, his dark eyes looking over Hazel's shoulder. He was doing that more and more, Hazel had noticed. Staring as if he wasn't really there, as if he could see things no one else could. She frowned at the paleness of her brother's skin, at the purple bruises beneath his eyes. Worry was slowly killing the Healer, and he didn't seem to care. But Nico was searching for his why, in the same way that Hazel was dreading leaving her own.

"You need sleep," Hazel finally said, "sleep and food."

"Will you ever stop worrying?" he asked, pulling her in for a hug. There was a slight smirk on his face, but his eyes were anxious and dark. Humor had become a stranger to the son of darkness.

Nico's hands pressed deeply in Hazel's back, as if he was scared that something would snatch her away from him. But she hugged him back just as tightly. More than anything, Hazel knew how terrified Nico was of losing someone without saying goodbye.

"I will when you do," she retorted gently, slowly pulling herself away from the hug. "Don't worry about me; Arion and I will be just fine."

Nico said nothing and continued to stare at the lightening horizon.

Hazel turned to Frank, who had tears forming in his eyes. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. He placed his hands on the back of her neck and deepened the kiss, holding Hazel close to him.

Frank pulled away eventually, but kept his face close to Hazel's. "Come back to me," he whispered, something that sounded like desperation coating his words.

She smiled and kissed him again. "Death itself couldn't keep me away."

And with that, Hazel nimbly mounted Arion, who released a whinny of contentment. She looked down at the two men who were both staring sadly up at her. "Don't worry too much while I'm gone, alrightt?" she called down with a smile.

"Come back quickly," was all Frank said.

"I love you both," Hazel said before digging her knees into Arion's side.

And just like that, the golden-eyed girl disappeared, with nothing but a lingering breeze showing that she had ever been there at all.

"She'll come back," Frank said aloud, more attempting to convince himself more than the son of shadows.

"Yeah," Nico said in response. But his eyes were fixed on the rising Sun, searching for the image of a golden-haired boy returning home. An air of hopelessness surrounded the son of death and the son of war as they waited for a triumphant return, of either a lost demigod or a lost lover. They waited for the return of their why's.

But the return would never come.

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