maybe we can fix each other - Ricky Bowen x Ej Caswell (HSMTMTS)

II. Homecoming - Part One

I shouldn't have stolen her phone. I shouldn't have been so self-absorbed. I should stop making everything about me.

I feel my chest getting heavier and gradually it gets hard to breathe. Oh no, it's happening again...
I open my drawer and try to get some of my pills. My shaking hands make it look like I'm solving an impossible puzzle.
After many attempts, I punch the wall in frustration. The pain helps me get into my senses again, although the surrounding floor is shaking. I try to open it again, and this time I actually open it and swallow two pills dry.
I sit on the floor, back facing the walls as I close my eyes and feel my chest beating like thunder. A few minutes later, the pills make effects, slowing down my heart rate. I stand up and go wash my face, looking at my tear-stained face. I quickly wash it and feel my phone vibrating in my pocket.
It's Gina, she told me to meet her at her house. I quickly get dressed and leave, stopping by Nini's house. I text her to see if she has a few minutes to talk, but I remember she blocked me. So I just drive away.

"Hey, I got your text," EJ said. he paused for a while before continuing. "yeah, I still want her back, more than anything. What's your plan?"

"You're taking me to the homecoming dance", Gina said in her usual confident tone.

"What?" EJ said, visibly confused and raising his voice to a tone that matched what he was feeling at the moment.

"Shh. don't ask questions," Gina shushed him. When she opened her mouth to say something, the lights at the porch flickered as a sign for Gina to go back inside, since it was late. She began pushing EJ to his car, as he looked even more confused. "sorry, my mother doesn't know you're here and she would find it weird that I was talking to a random boy at 11 o'clock in the night. Anyway, good night, see you at rehearsal," she said, making sure he got into his car and then walking into her house. She closed the door and sighed. She did not know what she was doing, but hopefully, it would cause Nini and Ricky to quit the musical.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

How long are you staying?

I'm not sure.

But at least until the end of the week...

I can't believe this is happening. My parents are officially getting a divorce and I can't help but feel this is all my fault. I thought of calling Nini for emotional support like I always do, but I didn't want to bother her - so I just laid down on my bed and let my thoughts slowly take over my mental sanity. I spent the entire day on the edge of a breakdown and cried twice at school, which isn't the best experience ever.
When I got home after fleeing from Big Red's house, I cried a little more while I was in the shower, letting my tears go down the drain like the cold water running from the pipes... I wish my problems could go down the drain as well. I wish I could go to sleep, wake up and see that all of this that has been nothing but a nightmare and that my emotional stability is back to normal - not that it was normal before, it was less chaotic. I wish there was someone to fix me.
I absolutely hate change, and my life has pretty much been turned upside down since I broke up with Nini. I literally got the leading role of the play even though I have zero experience with theater or arts, I had to see Nini and EJ being a cheesy couple for a long time until the whole drama with the phone - and the basketball to his face, which I still feel kinda bad about - and my parents. As much as I try to not think about it, it always circles back to their divorce. I'm scared. What if my mom gets full custody over me and I have to go to Chicago with her? I guess that means meeting new people all over again, which kinda makes me nervous to think about. I don't know, I just hope everything goes well...

I wake up with a big headache, probably from all the crying and sobbing of last night. Sighing, I look at my phone: it's 6:55. the bright light that the phone emits makes me feel more awake. I see the date and I remember: the homecoming dance is tonight, and I forgot to ask Nini.