Run || Bertholdt Hoover x Reader

Run. Part Three.

You weren't sure how long you both walked along the wall but you kept your eyes on his back. Usually you walked along with him, Bertholdt slowing his steps if he needed to, to make sure you were keeping up with him. But if he tried to slow down here you slowed more, you were fine to trail behind him. It was better that way. You weren't sure if you could actually look at him right now, you had to figure out what you even wanted to say to him, hope you could actually think of what you wanted to ask, needed to know.

Right now all you knew was that you needed to know if he ever actually felt anything for you. Saying everything else could come later, the fact that he'd destroyed the wall, the fact that he'd killed hundreds of people... to you that was second. As selfish as it was you almost didn't care. What he'd done to others, it was horrible and to some unforgivable but you loved him. To you he could never be that monster, not as long as you and he were real. You'd risked everything to follow him here, knowing what he was and what he'd done. You'd accepted that as the truth, to people he hurt he was a monster, but to you he was the light. Letting him go without listening to him wasn't an option for you.

Bertholdt stopped walking, he didn't say anything, didn't even look at you. He walked to the edge and stared out, "I didn't want any of this." He said that before, when you and the others confronted he and Reiner. "I just wanted my dad to be okay. No matter what I had to do it was supposed to be worth it so he could get help." So the part about his dad being sick was true, at least that meant that not everything was a lie, maybe most things weren't but you couldn't be sure. "I've tried to make it feel like it did in the beginning but nothing feels the same."

The words felt stuck in your throat, you knew what you wanted to ask and that you had to ask. But the idea of rejection burned your mind, these were the questions that would tell you if you made the right choice or if this was the biggest mistake of your life. Depending on what he said you were outside the wall alone with no way of getting back. You'd committed treason and betrayed your friends for nothing. But you couldn't hold it off anymore, this was your life that you were putting in his hands.

Stepping closer to him you felt him look at you but you couldn't do the same, "What changed?" From you spot on the wall you could see a titan in the far distance. A symbol of what kind of danger you were really in out here.

Bertholdt looked at you with sad eyes, the same ones he looked at you with when you used to talk about the future too much. You'd though it was just because you were both soldiers, Scouts. "Seeing everything happen, hearing people's stories and making friends. The fact that for once in my life I actually felt like I belonged and didn't have to prove myself to anyone." There was a hint of a smile on his face, "And mostly you." Your heart sped up when he said that. "I tried for so long to stop myself, to push you away but it never worked like that."

Letting out a soft laugh you nodded, he was right. He'd try to keep his distance from you but you wouldn't give up on talking to him. Not when you could see him looking at you when he thought you didn't know. The way he'd blush when he was caught or the way he'd stutter when you spoke to him. That still hadn't gone away, when you caught his eyes he'd blush, he was always so nervous and quiet but it didn't stop him from reaching out and taking your hand or kissing your cheek. Even if there was a blush on his face he wasn't hesitant to show you affection when you were alone.

In public, he wasn't affectionate but you didn't need him to be, he was still at your side and making sure that you were safe during missions. You loved him, he was your world and you had believed that you were at least part of his. In your mind you'd already decided your future was with him, if he took back his home like he said or if you stayed as soldiers your whole life. Whatever he did you wanted to follow. It didn't matter to you how young you were. As a Scout your days were numbered before you really started counting them, you'd watched countless friends and people die so you couldn't hesitate to fall head first into him.