Run || Bertholdt Hoover x Reader

Run. Part Two.

Warning for loss of limb but it's not graphic just mentioned! 

Once you were up in the trees you collapsed against the trunk. Holding your hands over your eyes you didn't even care that you were going to get blood on your face. Maybe if you go lucky you could find a stream and wash yourself off. That would be dangerous but the smell and the feeling of the blood was starting to be too much. If you waited for the sun to go down then it should be okay to make a quick stop, or if the titans all kept their focus on the other three. Right now you needed to catch your breath.

Catch your breath and try to think rationally about this, you had to figure out how to get out of here. Figure out what you were really going to do. If the scouts left you here to die, if they didn't think to check on you after everything you'd been through together that might mean that they thought you were with Reiner and Bertholdt. You hadn't known anything, when Reiner said it you'd been there in shock. Jean had to grab you when the two transformed, you didn't even try to save yourself. If it hadn't been for him you'd probably have let the blast kill you. At least Jean had to know you weren't with them. If you'd been with them you would have acted, tried to get to them but that didn't happen.

If you tried to find your way back to the scouts you'd be questioned, you knew that. Whatever they believed you knew the MP wouldn't trust you, that was for sure. You were too close to Bertholdt and you were a scout. The Military Police had been at odds with the Scouts since the incident with Eren, maybe even before that. What would happen to you if you didn't give them the answers they wanted? Would they just look at it as an excuse to take something from the Scouts and just get rid of you for precaution? You didn't know, you wouldn't know until you went back.

Then the other option. Letting your hands fall from your face you watched as the two titan shifters worked their way through the mindless ones. They were the other option. The idea was probably even more terrifying. With them there was so much more, they might hurt you too, kill you as easily as the military police would. But having it be Bertholdt, that would be so much worse. Not only was there the chance of him admitting he'd never felt anything for you, there could also just be the rejection. Maybe he did care but not enough to actually want you to stay with him. You couldn't even start to imagine what it would be like if he decided you were a threat to them and decided to kill you himself. You couldn't imagine the Bertholdt you knew doing that. But was that Bertholdt even real?

Just the thought of that made your stomach churn, everything you'd shared, every moment and every secret you told him could have all been for nothing. If everything he did was just a lie you didn't know how you'd take it. You wanted the man you knew to be real, he lied about where he was from and about who he was but could he really have lied about everything he said when you were alone? He told you about his father being sick, about losing one of his friends, about so many things. But how much of it was real and how much did he lie about? You didn't want to think about that, you didn't want to face what might be true.

You'd put so much on him, it was unfair of you to put that much weight on someones shoulders when they didn't ask for it. Bertholdt knew that he'd saved you, when you first joined the military you didn't expect to live long, you didn't care if you did either. Choosing the scouts was just your ticket to either save people or die trying. You'd lost your mother before Wall Maria fell and then your father had been a part of the first operation to retake the wall. Both of them were taken from you and when you found the 104th and Bertholdt specifically, you needed them. You clung to them and they let you. He let you.

Having that all ripped away from you was a nightmare and now it was real life. You had to pick, the scouts and your friends who might suspect you or Bertholdt who could have lied about everything. Both had dangers and were full of uncertainties, but you couldn't stay here. The longer you waited in this tree the more of a chance you took for titans to notice you. There was a small comfort in that knowledge, that you refused to just lay down and die.