Run || Bertholdt Hoover x Reader

Run. Part Three.

Shaking your head you wanted to yell, tell him that you'd never do something like that. Even knowing what you did now, you just wanted to know what was real and what Bertholdt had made up. "No!" Your voice wasn't even close to the yell you'd wanted it to be but you still managed to speak. They looked at you though, all three of them staring at you, but your eyes were only on Bertholdt. "You think I would risk my life for that? They left me!" Your words hit you again and you realized again that you'd literally been left to die. "They all left me to die out there! You left me out there!"

He winced at the accusation, unable to look at you and face that he had left you. Maybe they thought you were dead but they didn't even try to check. They'd risked everything for Eren and yet they couldn't take a minute to see if anyone was alive. If it had been anyone else they wouldn't have left them, Mikasa, Armin, Jean... they'd all have been looked for. But not you. "Did you even care?" He looked at you, eyes wide and mouth open but you cut him off. "I could have died. I should be dead but some Garrison soldier I've met once in my life saved me. And you... you left me. You didn't even —" Your eyes went to Ymir, "She tried to take Christa but you didn't even say anything to me." A laugh escaped you as you looked at Bertholdt, the anger on his face replaced with something else, shame maybe? "Was it easier? Was leaving me behind, letting me die easier for you?"

By now you weren't even crying, your eyes stung and you could feel tears pricking the backs of your eyes but you felt numb. You wanted to shake him, demand he say something and not just stare at you like he was. You could see him try to form words but stuttered over them before he was able to get out a protest. "Of course I did." He sounded broken and everything in you wanted to run to him, but you couldn't let yourself.

Looking at Bertholdt right now did nothing but make you want to forget everything you'd wanted to ask. Finding out why, you wanted to accept him again without question, let him do whatever he wanted and you couldn't do that. Forcing yourself to look at Reiner a wave of pride went through you when you realized he did look at least a little guilty. "You really think I almost died to report you to the scouts? I wouldn't do something to purposely hurt the person I love." Your voice dripped with venom and you knew it hurt him, probably more so that you weren't even talking to him. "I just..." you felt the adrenaline and anger fading and leaving you once again with the pain "I had to find you. To know if anything was real, if we were real."

Covering your face with your hands you had to hold yourself back from crying again. Digging your psalms into your eyes you forced yourself to not cry. Maybe you should have just gone back to Wall Rose, you'd hoped maybe he would have been happy to see you but after he saved you he'd only stood there. He let Reiner take over once again. You needed to talk to him, not Reiner, you didn't care what Reiner did. Bertholdt was the reason you were here now and if he wasn't going to tell you anything then there wasn't a reason to stay here. There was no reason for him to save you from that titan.

"Y/N." Bertholdt's voice was quiet when he spoke to you, you could hear him walking towards you. "Of course it was real." When he touched you, you winced and you heard him take in a sharp breath. "I couldn't tell you I —" Stopping himself he leaned in closer to you, his voice a little more than a whisper. "Can we just go talk. Please?" Letting your hands fall from your eyes you nodded, he looked back to Reiner and motioned for him to go. The other man looked hesitant but he eventually turned away from the two of you.

Bertholdt's hand twitched at his side and you thought he was going to offer you his hand like he usually would when you were alone but he stopped himself. Slowly you started to walk after him, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself. This was why you followed him, to hear what he had to say and find out the truth. But the idea of hearing something you didn't want was terrifying. You wanted this to just be a bad dream, something you'd made up in your head but that wasn't the truth and you couldn't pretend like it was.