020-my boy.

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 Doppelgänger:
 An apparition or double of a living person.

 I've had a few of those if I do say so myself. And not in the sense you think. Not a look-a-like, but more like an act-a-like; Like a follower. Or Followers. The queen bitch herself was one of them, and that's how she stole my spot at the head of the table in the first place. 

 She watched my every move, studying me like a book until she could make her final move. Predator and prey, that's how I describe it. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be in half the situations I've been in thus far. But to no avail, she wanted the spotlight, and that's exactly what she got. 

 I was never a follower, I liked to do things my own way and on my own time. I learned that when I first became a dealer. Dealing allowed me to understand myself more and what I do and don't like. 

 I didn't like where I was In life currently, I didn't like being vulnerable, I didn't like being hurt or taken advantage of. 

 But here I was, being exactly all those things. But my pill habits turned to drinking habits, it wasn't any better but at least it would kill me slower. Today was the only day I didn't drink, I took that big exam with the hopes that I'd be freed from the hell I call school soon. 

 But right after I left, there was a vodka bottle waiting in my apartment for me exactly where I left it. A wide grin spread across my face as I unscrewed the cap and began downing it. Music blared and I was more focused on the beat than the actual words. I felt invincible, that was until there was loud knocks on the door causing me to grown. 

 When I opened it, Avy and Ash stood outside, concern written on their faces. "Well? How did the exam go?" They pushed through the door making me roll my eyes. "Welcome I guess," 

 "It reeks of alcohol In here," Smacking Ash on the back of his head, I sat the bottle I was holding on the table. "yeah, thanks for pointing out the obvious. There's about fifteen more of those in the fridge," 

 Avy and Ash looked at each other before they both nodded, one of them walking out of the door and going god knows where. "So, how'd your exam go? I'm sure you aced it, you've always been really smart, especially with math,"

 "I'm good at math because I became a drug dealer at thirteen since Selene's drugged-out ass couldn't take care of us," She sighed in defeat, ears raising as she heard the door open again. In walked Ash, and a face I never wanted to see again. "The fuck is he doing here?" I instantly shot up, growing defensive. "He just wants to talk to you, Dutch," Scoffing, I grabbed my bottle off the table and made my way out of the apartment. If he was gonna be there, I had no interest in staying there. 

 "Domo, stop acting like a child," My feet stopped as my body swung around, a glare being shot towards the red-haired boy. "I'm acting like a child? Your the one who pretended he didn't have a girl at home and ended up cheating on me for a bitch with no goals or morals. You had me, someone who actually was making goals for her future, someone who wanted to see you and the rest of the people she called family succeed," 

 "You right and I apologize, ma. I fucked up, and I've said that several times and meant it. But I didn't mean what I said when I told you I couldn't do us anymore, come on, you gotta stop being like this-"

 "You gave up on us, not me. You have zero right to act hurt right now, Fezco!" Taking a sip of the bottle in my hand, he snatched it away from me. "Look at you, Domonique. Your a mess, you went from popping pills to drinking like that was gonna make a difference in the damage you're doing to yourself. I'm sorry for what I did to you, I don't get this whole commitment and feelings shit,"

 It was my turn to make a decision. I could either forgive him, or I could walk away right now and act like we never had this conversation, like he never existed.

 "Fuck you," By now, the kids were inside, not being able to watch the scene unfold anymore. Ash took care of Avy like I once did, it was sweet. He took the role I couldn't play anymore, just like I once did with my mother. "We're toxic..." For the first time throughout this conversation, we were calm. A sense of nostalgia running through me from when we were once peaceful enemies.

 "But you're my dopamine, and I love you," His eyes welled with tears as my words flowed from my mouth, voice soft like silk as rain began to pour down around us. Neither of us moved though, too engulfed in the presence of each other to get somewhere dry. "I love you too, Dutchess," 

 It was like high amounts of serotonin and dopamine were released through my body as his hands roamed it, and his lips explored my mouth and neck. It felt like jolts of electricity hit me over and over until I couldn't take it anymore and melted right into him. 

 He was like poison paradise; a drug that kept me healthy and stable. He made me happy even on my darkest of days, he made me feel good when nothing else could. He changed me, made me feel something I never thought I would want to feel again. 

 ❃ǝuıɯɐdoᗡ❃

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